Chaos On A Cellular Level

Treas 8, 5540

The Party:

• Laurita Gomez, Priestess
  • Herman Thorpe, Ectomancer
    • Baelnar Grimtor, Dwarven Sapper
• Crolack, Thrassian Gladiator
  • Kurt Steinbacke, Dwarven Deep Monk
• Saphira Moonstone, Gold Skinscribe
  • Pentzkin Singletossle Pocketspringer, gnomish beastmaster
  • Alun Tsornyl, Sylph Ranger Red Dragonborn Ranger
• Wendy, Terrifying Clown Bard
• Aria Balakdo, Gnomish Librarian
  • Emily Emerald, Librarian Guard
  • Gunilla Sandström, White Mage
  • Lautaro Rodriguez, Explorer
• Characters retired (for now, at least):
  • Rig Bigny, Gnomish Beastmaster
    • Flit, bat familiar
    • Clench, Wardog War-Badger
    • Midnight, Panther
    • Noona, Lion
    • Faufe Yitaw, Dogwere (Badgerwere?)
      • Rawf, Wardog familiar
      • Aroof, Wardog familiar
    • Llarm Paphyra, Elvish Polydoctorate
      • The Metal Man, construct
  • Caranthir, Human Leader of Men Dragon
    • Rhea Trueheart, Elvish Nightblade
    • Lucille "Luce" Burwood, Fighter
    • Elenora Garrard, White Mage
    • Gimli Trollriver, Dwarven Fury
  • Aingeal Bàs Eleonara, Witch

Treas 8, 5540

Before I start, a reminder on how XP and leveling works:

• XP gained from fighting monsters is gained at the beginning of the next session
• XP gained from coins and gems is gained once it leaves the dungeon/nest/encounter
• XP gained from trade goods (barrels of rum, monster parts, etc.) is gained once the goods have been sold.
• You can't gain more than 1 level per session; if you would gain 2 levels, instead you are 1 XP away from your next level.
• If a henchman gains a level, he immediately rolls to see if he stays in your service: +1 for each level gained while in your service (including this one), -1 for each catastrophic event (losing an arm, dying, etc.), plus any morale bonuses. If a henchman levels above your own, the henchman will immediately leave your service.

This is important, because while youve gotten a bit of treasure... it's not going to level you up until you haul it out of the dungeon. And now, on to the adventure!

Deciding to travel into the dungeon, regardless of the warnings of its guardians, the party headed inside through a particularly resilient door. After wandering through some very empty rooms and down some well-made stairs (though not of dwarven make), they found a large dome of some sort, with a huge door set in the top. After much struggling, Wendy and Crolack managed to open it, revealing a tube of some sort, set into the floor. Looking down inside, a tiny dot of light could be seen below, just a glimmer in absolute darkness. Saphira chucked a pebble with Light cast on it inside, and watched it fall down and down, until it seemed to just blend into the tiny dot of light below. Whatever it was, the hole was likely hundreds of feet below them.

Exploring around, Crolack found another heavy door, locked; nearby was another door, though with no visible knob or latch. Opting for the more door-like door, Crolack bashed on it a while, and managed to get it open. Behind the door were a lot of metal stairs - about 100 feet down in switchback stairs. At the bottom, there were a few boxes stacked, in not-too-terrible condition. Sorting through, they found:

• 6,000 silver pieces (600 gp, 6 st)
• 75,000 copper pieces (600 gp, 60 st)
• 204 bricks of salt (7sp, 1/2st each) (142.8 gp, 102 st)
• 53 ingots of common metals (1gp, 1/2st each) (53 gp, 26.5 st)

The passage was wide and clean, with no signs of life anywhere. It curved, gently, both down and away from the door. Venturing along the passage, the party found a largish room, circular, with a large pole in the exact center of the room - Saphira correctly summarized that it was the same tube they found above.

After a bit of searching, the party found a small secret door: only a few square feet, with some items stashed inside:

• 500 cp (1/2 st)
• 2 metamphora of preserved special components (1st/60gp, 800 gp each) (1600 gp, 265.6 st)
• 2 silver arrows, each worth 5gp (10 gp, 0.3334 st)

Also in the nook was a large red button, which Wendy was about to happily press, but Crolack got there first. Almost immediately, the room lurched, and began spinning around! As it spun, it dropped, as if it were on a huge screw. It dropped down and down, until finally grinding to a halt. The door was blocked with solid stone, though a tiny sliver of a gap was visible. Wendy flexed his muscles, and with a herculean shove, managed to drag the room about half an inch, giving him enoguh of a view to show that the crack was another doorway, and hypothetically, the two doorways were supposed to align. After much grunting and shoving, Crolack and Wendy managed to move the door another quarter of an inch, but no more. Sighing, Wendy pulled out a Chime of Opening, and with a single clear note, the room shifted, aligning the doorways perfectly.

The hall beyond was filled with plants - mushrooms, moss, mold, and decay. There was enough light from a few glowing lichen to illuminate the passage. Cautious investigation revealed standing water, pooled beside roots wedged against the ground. Crolack was at home in the six inches of slimy, sloshing water, but the others grimaced at getting their boots wet. Those that weren't floating on flying carpets, anyway. A little farther, Crolack found... a pair of cockatrice! Crolack leaped into battle, with the others not far behind, and soon the lizard-birds were little more than mush. Oddly, the birds were smooth-skinned, with only a few feathers at the tips of their wings; something about the slimy cave life, most likely. In the nest, they found a huge pile of copper pieces, silver pieces, and even some platinum, along with some tusks and ivory.

Sloshing down the swampy passage, the party found another room; inside, Laurita cast Speak with Plants, hoping to get some information from the lush jungle inside the room. Large, bulbous mushrooms spotted the room, and trees hung down from the ceiling. Grass and reedy plants covered the floor. Numerous voices answered Laurita's question; shrill, giggly voices begged her to come closer, come closer! - while deep, raspy voices mumbled, "PAIN... GROW... PAIN... GROW!"

A third voice also spoke out of the darkness, low, dry, and rumbly. "You do not belong here..."

A Detect Evil spell showed that while there was evil dotted all around the room, there was a creature in the center that was very, very evil - mostly likely the dry, rumbly voice. After some back and forth, Wendy hit upon a wonderful idea. Using his Helm of Alignment Changing, he would ride a carpet inside, and befriend whatever was there! He enacted his plan, and dropped out of the sky onto... an undead Treant. Grabbing the mummy-tree, he wrestled the helm onto its uppermost branches. The tree flung him to the ground once, but was unable to dislodge him a second time, and in a moment, was a confused and lawful mummy tree. Because why not.

Meanwhile, Crolack, understanding that the room was full of evil puff-mushrooms, grabbed a couple vials of military oil from Saphira, lit them up, and chucked them into the room. The mushrooms burned in bursts of fire, and the reeds spread the fire quickly - though once the fire reashed the trees, the roof-bound plants began to grow! Wendy and the mummy-treant zipped out of the room in a wash of flames, barely missing Pentzkin; a moment later, the burning trees shoved through the doorway, filling the passage and cracking the doorway itself before finally stopping their growth - probably having entirely filling the room behind them.

Last but not least, Wendy asked the undead Treant if it would like to be his henchman, to which it agreed with fanatic loyalty. Because of course it did. (Details on it below)

• XP from encounters:
  • 2 cockatrice (700)
  • 1 undead mummy treant (5+1*** HD, 860 XP)
• XP from treasure
  • 6,000 silver pieces (600 gp, 6 st)
  • 75,000 copper pieces (750 gp, 75 st)
  • 204 bricks of salt (7sp, 1/2st each) (142.8 gp, 102 st)
  • 53 ingots of common metals (1gp, 1/2st each) (53 gp, 26.5 st)
  • 30,000 copper pieces (300 gp, 30 st)
  • 200 platinum pieces (1000 gp, 0.2 st)
  • 10,000 silver pieces (1000 gp, 10 st)
  • 28 animal tusks (168 gp, 16.8 st)
  • 21 pieces of ivory (1st/100gp, 54 gp each) (1134 gp, 11.34 st)
  • 500 cp (1/2 st)
  • 2 metamphora of preserved special components (1st/60gp, 800 gp each) (1600 gp, 265.6 st)
  • 2 silver arrows, each worth 5gp (10 gp, 0.3334 st)
• Total XP gained: 1560
• Total XP once out of the dungeon: 3880
• Total XP once sold: 1497.8 (the metamphora and silver arrows were kept)
• Total treasure now: 3380
• Total treasure once sold: 1497.8
• XP per PC: 240
• XP per henchman: 120
• Treasure per PC: 845 (in copper, silver, and platinum)

The Mummy Treant currently has 28 HP. It is 5 HD, Str: 11 (+0), Int: 18 (+3), Wis: 9 (+0), Dex: 12 (+0), Con: 11 (+0), Cha: 11 (+0), and its level progression is as follows:

• Level 5: 4,500 XP; atk 5+; AC 7; 2x attacks, 1d12, mummy rot
• Level 6: 9,000 XP; atk 4+; AC 8; 2x attacks, 2d6, mummy rot
• Level 7: 18,000 XP; atk 3+; AC 8; 2x attacks, 3d4, mummy rot
• Level 8: 36,000 XP; atk 2+; AC 9; 2x attacks, 2d8, mummy rot
• Level 9: 72,000 XP; atk 1+: AC 9; 2x attacks, 2d8, mummy rot
• Level 10: 144,000 XP; atk 0+; AC 10; 2x attacks, 3d6, mummy rot
• Level 11: 288,000 XP; atk -1+; AC 10; 2x attacks, 3d6, mummy rot
• Level 12: 576,000 XP; atk -2+; AC 11; 2x attacks, 4d6, mummy rot
• Level 13: 1,152,000 XP; atk -3+; AC 11; 2x attacks, 4d6, mummy rot
• Level 14: 2,304,000 XP; atk -4+; AC 12; 2x attacks, 5d6, mummy rot

Additionally, it can control up to 2 normal trees within 60' as a treant. It saves and gains proficiencies as a fighter. It has General Profs: Alchemy, Caving, Endurance, Knowledge, Naturalism; Class profs: Dungeon Bashing, Weapon Focus (fists: double damage on nat 20). Like other undead, mummies are unaffected by poison and charm, sleep, or hold spells. Further, mummies may only be harmed by magical weapons, spells, and fire-based attacks, all of which do only half damage. Except for, in this case, magical or mundane fire does full damage, because it's a tree.

Learning To Spell

Dara 16, 6639 - A'chiad 4, 6640

The Party:

• Rig Bigny, Gnomish Beastmaster
  • Flit, bat familiar
  • Clench, Wardog War-Badger
  • Midnight, Panther
  • Noona, Lion
  • Faufe Yitaw, Dogwere (Badgerwere?)
    • Rawf, Wardog familiar
    • Aroof, Wardog familiar
  • Llarm Paphyra, Elvish Polydoctorate
    • The Metal Man, construct
• Caranthir, Human Leader of Men
  • Rhea Trueheart, Elvish Nightblade
  • Lucille "Luce" Burwood, Fighter
  • Elenora Garrard, White Mage
  • Gimli Trollriver, Dwarven Fury
• Gróin of Norston, Dwarven Sapper (retired)
• Laurita Gomez, Priestess
  • Herman Thorpe, Ectomancer
    • Baelnar Grimtor, Dwarven Sapper
• Crolack, Thrassian Gladiator
  • Kurt Steinbacke, Dwarven Deep Monk
• Mor Gibs, Wonderworker (on hiatus)
• Saphira Moonstone, Gold Skinscribe
  • Pentzkin Singletossle Pocketspringer, gnomish beastmaster
  • Alun Tsornyl, Sylph Ranger
• Te'a Tsuki Megumi, Elven Polydoctorate (on hiatus)
  • Harvey Usagi, Rabbitwere
• Fayleen Ross, Darklord (on hiatus)
  • Zai-car, Zaharan Ruinguard
• Aingeal Bàs Eleonara, Witch

After spending some time in Elven Las Vegas, checking out temples and relaxing in the garishly bright lights, the party decided to return home for some general maintenance - making sure their cities were kept up, and in Caranthir's case, scoping out a new realm to rule. The first stop was the old mansion of Lady Dracul; there, they found a variety of somewhat jovial bandits and ruffians. Inside, they found the house redecorated in a much more militaristic style. They were introduced to Baron Vostvos, a towering, gruff man, and as it turns out, cousin to Lady Dracul. He re-took her lands from the invaders after some "trouble at home" left the place mostly unguarded.

That trouble was, in fact, Quetgar, who had been hired to wipe out the royal houses of those that attacked them. Of the four, two survived, and two were wiped out; the first that was wiped out was little more than a ghost town. Without a town guard (paid for by a ruler), there was nothing to stop the near-weekly bandit raids. At this point, almost anything not nailed down was already stolen. The second decimated city, a little farther east, was still kept up; a seneschal was trying to keep the place in hand. The poor man's wife met Caranthir at the gates, and was immediately cut down, having been mistaken for an ogre. Neither the town guard nor her husband were much upset. The seneschal, realizing someone else was going to take over, was all too happy to leave. Caranthir paid the town guard to restock, and vowed to return with the rest of his... well, everything.

That taken care of, they returned to the strange elf-city, and learned a little of what the mage they hired had found: namely, a list of information on the Old Gods, most of which they had found already, but with a few new things, specifically that this Chaos was mentioned as one of the Old Gods, and was possibly the reason for the cataclysms in the first place. Returning to the Temple of Chaos, Saphira managed to solve the riddle. They entered the code, and walked down the steps into the tomb-like interior...

At the bottom of the stairs, a well-hewn door stood; pushing it open, the party found themselves in a well-lit hallway, clean and almost homey. There were seven doors in the hall: three on each side, and another at the end of the hall. Door number 1, first on the left, contained a small library, though the text was entirely unreadable, even with a Helm of Comprehension. Across the hall behind door number 2 was another library; this one, at least, had understandable books. Interestingly, the books started as written in stone, then continued on animal hide, then treated leather, and eventually well-bound, hardcover, paper books. The books seemed deceptively small; after reading several minutes, no progress was made towards the end, as if the pages were enchanted to contain more than physically possible. Reading parts of the various books revealed nothing more than a dry narration of someone, as if the writer had simply watched someone all day and wrote down every action they took.

At the other end of the hall, doors 5, 6, and 7 were opened; door 7 opened into utter blackness. And, worse, the other door slammed shut. Doors 5 and 6 each contained shelf after shelf of tiny lights, some glowing brightly, some dimly, some gold, some white/gray, and some purple. Aingeal decided to go poke one of the lights, and found herself the victim of a life-drain spell! Luckily, it was only temporary. She poked around some more, and realized that each point of light was a tiny spell - and that by touching it, she not only experienced it, but gained an innate knowledge of that spell!

Saphira, eager to test out a hypothesis, began poking other spells, and managed to call an Efreeti! She bid it only to return to its plane. Which it attempted, only to blast itself into nothingness! It seems nothing can teleport, plane shift, or otherwise exit this area. Saphira was somewhat upset by accidentally ordering the creature to destroy itself... However, not so upset she didn't keep poking. After some non-starters, including a Cancellation spell that cancelled all her tattoos, she poked what may well be the last thing she'll ever poke - a spell of Tempral Stasis! While the spellcaster has the option of adding a trigger to end the stasis, she was unfortunately already under its influence before she could do so, which trapped her in a timeless shell...

Door 5, it appeared, contained divine spells, while door 6 contained arcane spells.

Meanwhile, doors 3 and 4 were opened, each revealing treasure! The room beyond door 4 was filled with carefully organized coins and gems, while the room behind door number 3 was filled with various magical items.

• XP from encounters:
  • Ogre-like wife of the seneschal (5)
• XP from treasure: none
• Total XP earned: 5
• XP per PC: 1
• XP per Henchthing: 0

One God, Two God, Old God, New God

Dara 9, 6639 - A'chiad 4, 6640

The Party:

• Rig Bigny, Gnomish Beastmaster
  • Flit, bat familiar
  • Clench, Wardog War-Badger
  • Midnight, Panther
  • Noona, Lion
  • Faufe Yitaw, Dogwere (Badgerwere?)
    • Rawf, Wardog familiar
    • Aroof, Wardog familiar
  • Llarm Paphyra, Elvish Polydoctorate
    • The Metal Man, construct
• Caranthir, Human Leader of Men
  • Rhea Trueheart, Elvish Nightblade
  • Lucille "Luce" Burwood, Fighter
  • Elenora Garrard, White Mage
  • Gimli Trollriver, Dwarven Fury
• Gróin of Norston, Dwarven Sapper (retired)
• Laurita Gomez, Priestess
  • Herman Thorpe, Ectomancer
    • Baelnar Grimtor, Dwarven Sapper
• Crolack, Thrassian Gladiator
  • Kurt Steinbacke, Dwarven Deep Monk
• Mor Gibs, Wonderworker
• Saphira Moonstone, Gold Skinscribe
  • Pentzkin Singletossle Pocketspringer, gnomish beastmaster
  • Alun Tsornyl, Sylph Ranger
• Te'a Tsuki Megumi, Elven Polydoctorate
  • Harvey Usagi, Rabbitwere
• Fayleen Ross, Darklord
  • Zai-car, Zaharan Ruinguard
• Aingeal Bàs Eleonara, Witch

In Dimhaven, Rig, Crolack, Laurita, and Caranthir (and henchbeings) explored the museum for a while, learning a little more about this strange new world. Specifically, they learned a little about the old gods: one that looked rather a lot like Thor; another that looked like a 6-legged cow (named Old Mother, and still worshiped today); one known as the Unseen One, or Görünmez (also still worshiped, with a surprisingly large following); and finally, a fragment of one that was only ever represented as a disembodied hand. They also learned a little of the surrounding area, including where a few ancient ruins were: one at the end of the long river (a great citadel), one in the far north (rumored to have great riches), and one in the middle of the plains, once a great city.

After the museum, they went looking for a ship, hoping to get out into international waters and do a bit of teleporting. They found a merchant-adventurer, one Captain Alphonse Calleel, who agreed to take them out to sea. The journey was fairly easy, as the Captain's ship (a huge galleon named the Etcetera) was outfitted with strange, fire-spitting weapons. They encountered some pirates early on, and easily blasted them to pieces.

Their first stop, still within the bounds of the weird magic-eating area, was to an island a couple hundred miles off the shore. As the ship restocked and the captain made a few purchases, the adventurers went exploring again. Crolack got in an arm wrestling contest with another lizardman, and lost. They found a church, and attended the rather generic service, then spoke with a Father Lorden about his order. The Order, actually, as that was the name of his religion; he refused (though not unkindly) to explain too much, as his was a fairly secretive religion, and only those who were members could join. As they left, one of the Order pressed a religions icon into Rig's hand - a stone toad.

After much more traveling, they were finally in safe waters, and teleported south, to warmer climates - but not before asking Bear a few questions:

• Are the cataclysms related to the old gods? No, but yes (Bear sounded as if the question could, perhaps, be asked a different way)
• Does anyone in Lushea have knowledge of the nature of the cataclysms? Yes! (emphatically)
• Does anyone in the Dark Continent have knowledge of the nature of the cataclysms. Yes... (much less emphatically)

Their next visit was to Dinas Masnach, the City of Trade of Lushiea; Crolak got high on red fish, and the party learned that these people were far more magical than those up north. The people were a group of tribal, blue-skinned Elves, similar to the True Elves, but apparently much more violent and much less civilized, as they had recently attacked another tribe and returned with about 300 slaves!

The party asked about research opportunities, and were told to go to the capital. Dyffryn, capital of Lushea, turned out to be... essentially Las Vegas. Tall buildings, bright lights, and noisy people filled the streets. Rig found an information booth, and was able to get directions to the local Mage Guild (guild? Yep, guild, not college), which was in charge of much of the city's magical light display. After taking an elevator ride to the 5th floor, they met Elias Wibblethorn, Esq., Theological Archaeologist, and paid him 500 gp to research the old gods of Nobira. He was, of course, happy to oblige, and said he should have something by the next week. The party left to look at the temples of the city, and find out what they could about other gods. Their finding are detailed below:

• Old Mother, a six-legged cow, Old God of the earth, strength, and cattle
• Gyda Dyn (Glance Left, Glance Right), Old God of thieves, conmen, charisma, and Get Rich Quick Schemes
• Moenga Moe, an islander god of ...?
• Sof Zamd, god of sand, feebleness, heatstroke, and dehydration - not so much worshiped as cursed, in the desert to the north
• Görünmez, the Unseen One, god of Invisibility, Minding Your Own Business, and Staying Home.
• Oose Becky, Cubic Grace, Who Digests The World, goddess of... well, she's a gelatinous cube, draw your own conclusions. You can pet her for two copper pieces.

Along with the temples above, there was one further temple. Or rather... one missing temple. It was the Temple of Chaos; where it should have been, there was left only a placard, on which was engraved:

The Path to Chaos
Starts with the end of you
Continues with the first of nothing
Makes way for the eye
Places only the start of foundation
Appends that which is found inside you
And inscribes the cry of a pirate
To finish with the end of calm 

A series of letters and numbers followed the inscription:

123456qwerty
asdfghzxcvbn
7890uiopjklm

No XP was gained during this session; anyone starting a new character starts as King, with 620,000 XP and 815,000 gp, because that's how we roll.

Curses! (Foiled Again)

Naoidheamh 14, 6639; next holiday is Beastnight, 9/35

The Party:

• Rig Bigny, Gnomish Beastmaster
  • Flit, the bat familiar
  • Clench, the Wardog War-Badger
  • Midnight, the Panther
  • Noona, the Lion
  • Faufe Yitaw, Dogwere (Badgerwere?)
    • Rawf, Wardog familiar
    • Aroof, Wardog familiar
  • Llarm Paphyra, Elvish Polydoctorate
    • The Metal Man, construct
• Caranthir, Human Leader of Men
  • Rhea Trueheart, Elvish Nightblade
  • Lucille "Luce" Burwood, Fighter
  • Elenora Garrard, White Mage
  • Gimli Trollriver, Dwarven Fury
• Gróin of Norston, Dwarven Sapper
  • Laurita Gomez, Priestess
  • Herman Thorpe, Ectomancer
    • Baelnar Grimtor, Dwarven Sapper
• (As-yet-unnnamed), Thrassian Gladiator
  • Kurt Steinbacke, Dwarven Deep Monk
• Mor Gibs, the Wonderworker
• Craydos Silverskin, the Gold Skinscribe
  • Pentzkin Singletossle Pocketspringer, gnomish beastmaster
  • Alun Tsornyl, Sylph Ranger
• Te'a Tsuki Megumi, Elven Polydoctorate
  • Harvey Usagi, Rabbitwere
• Fayleen Ross, Darklord
  • Zai-car, Zaharan Ruinguard

Some of the party still having things to do, the remaining members decided to investigate the map they found. Incidentally, the map lead them to the same location that the Fae treasure map lead...

After some discussion, the group made an educated guess, and teleported to the vicinity of where they believed the treasure lay. It was a good guess; they landed in the correct hex, near a small village. A dusty farmer type wandered out to greet them. They asked if he knew where a certain hill was found; he laughed, and answered, "Well, it was nice meeting you, seniors, senioras, senioritas, but no one leaves that place alive. It's a tourist trap - literally. I wouldn't go in unless I had a deathwish!"

Still, the party pressed for the location, so he lead them to a low hill. Part had collapsed, leaving a low cliff of sorts; a bright red line was drawn in front of the entrance, and a fence surrounded the entire area. Several signs, in various languages, mentioned that stepping over that line will kill you, the local government can't be held responsible for you doing that, and if your religion or home country prohibits or regulates suicide, this counts if anything does. Shrugging, the party assured the man that they would be able to pass through the traps. Fayleen, using her new Gnomish Joke Book, summoned a bug, which was hit with a flurry of arrows as it entered. And then a scything blade, which bisected it. Following the traps in, and trying to disable or avoid them, the party slowly moved inside. They removed a high-powered Cancellation trap, avoided a pit full of yellow mold, dispelled an anti-magic shell and double lightning trap, blocked a slamming wall trap, crawled under a spinning blade trap, then dispelled yet another cancellation trap. The next slamming wall trap, though large, seemed poorly repaired; after that, there were only two pits, covered with blankets. Finally, a pile of stones were stacked over a trip wire; that trap didn't even reset after use.

At the end of the traps, they party reached four fearsome skeletons, clad for battle! Two skeletons held out their polearms, losing the head of one polearm, and the head of the other skeleton in the process. The first skeleton lost its armor; the fourth skeleton, already missing an arm and a leg, tried to raise its sword, but only managed to pivot a full 360 degrees. The priestess turned them easily, though frankly, a loud shout could have put those fellows down. They were a single hit point each, and likely would have killed themselves trying to wield their own weapons. Interestingly, the skeletons were not human, but orcish.

The wooden doorway was trapped with two magical sigils: a 12d6 fire trap, and an enervate trap, both of which were dispelled.

Inside was a somewhat homely room, with three occupants. First was what was obviously a mage of some sort, wearing rotting robes, sitting in a broken wooden chair, his feet propped on a casket. Second was a huge orc, crammed into a defensive position. The third, after some investigation, was inside the casket - a desiccated priestess. Additionally, there were a number of items in the room; a large rug, a fold-up table, and a huge pile of various items, from swords and armor to boxes, bags, and brooches. Most importantly, there was an anti-magic field that filled the entire room...

The entombed priestess was wrapped in some sort of ritual-level binding, a black rag with fine text written on it. The party attempted to communicate with her, but learned something else important: the Staff of the Dead has a 25% chance of raising the corpse as a zombie. The corpse stood, moaning, and began to lumber towards them. Laurita quickly Turned the corpse, and it was blasted into dust... or, rather, it started to blast into dust, but the magical bindings held the corpse together, so it was merely un-zombified. The second cast worked much better, and they asked the dead priestess three questions, which I should have written down but did not. The priestess answered Gróin's suspicions: she was Ajeela!

Meanwhile, the other party members managed to find a pair of secret exits, one of which was a deathtrap, and the other of which lead outside. After successfully triggering the deathtrap and plummeting to his doom, Harvey was rescued and healed by Gróin and company. Using Rhea's Gloves of Curse Prevention, the party gathered the various rings (including the two on the hands of the huge orc), dropped them into a bag, and lugged them through the secret tunnel. Gróin and Laurita, left in the room to talk with the corpse, found themselves suddenly very interested in some of the treasure; Gróin picked out a dashing pair of glasses, while Laurita picked a lovely amulet. After a bit of back and forth, the rest of the party returned, and found that they, too, wanted to grab some items for themselves. Rhea, still wearing the gloves, found that none of the items satisfied her; she picked through them all, finding nothing. Finally, irritated, she tried on a belt, and finally felt relief. Curious at what it did, she crawled out through the exit, stepped away from the anti-magic field. She read the word written on the belt, presumably the command word: "Behold!"

In an instant, the belt activated, and she found her clothes flung open! Startled, she quickly re-dressed, and looked up to see a small child staring open-mouthed, and a pair of very large rabbits rolling on the grass in laughter. Embarrassed, she rejoined the group. The belt, by the way, is enchanted with the Knock spell, self-targeting, usable three times per day. The others chose magic items as well: a scroll for the polydoctorate, a smooth rock for the ruinguard, and so forth.

In the chamber, Laurita had asked Ajeela's corpse if she wanted Atonement; she agreed. Laurita placed her hand on the corpse's forehead to begin the spell, but before she could even start, she found herself suddenly switched into Ajeela's body! And, worse, Ajeela herself was in the priestess's body! (As an aside, this was actually an ideal situation; Ajeela, being a 14th level priestess, and Laurita, being a 9th level priestess, were able to keep all their spells and such in each other's bodies.) After much consternation and accusation (from both sides), they figured out a possible method to return everyone to normal: go to Ajeela's church, and return her eyes, and from there cast the Atonement spell.

Gathering up the various magical items, they stuffed them all in a bag, sorted out which ring was the anti-magic field, and stuck it back into the chamber. Additionally, they added a few more traps, and re-hid the secret exit. They told the farmer, and he didn't seem as shocked as they expected... He rushed back to his house, and returned with simple NDAs for them to sign - non-disclosure agreements. Adventure-tourists frequently came by, and the village made a significant amount of money from them, from selling goods and from recovering their gear if they all snuffed it in the hill. The non-disclosure agreement ensured that the party wouldn't tell anyone that they actually managed to escape the traps... there had been a number of adventurers that had actually made it through, but it was much more mysterious if he could say that none had ever returned. The party was a little leery, until he explained that the signs were there to keep people out, and if anyone went it, it was their own dumb fault; he couldn't stop an adventurer if he tried. They agreed, and signed.

In Foreston, they visited a church of Alehim, and restored Ajeela's eyes; she and the priestess swapped back into their proper bodies, and she healed Gróin's eyes... though he did get a bird-foot out of the deal. Oh well. Ajeela decided to stay at the temple, for now, but said she would be willing to return if the party had a great need.

While that was happening, the rest of the party took their items to a sage, who looked them over. It was a fairly fast job - most of the items were cursed, and his great tome of reference material meant he didn't have to do much study. Here's the list he came up with:

• Cursed and evil:
  • Rug of Curse Attraction, which causes anyone who touches it to yearn for a cursed item.
  • Amulet of Infection: once per hour, curses a random item (this is what the priestess chose).
  • Deck of Many Thongs: cursed. Oh, gods. A deck of cards in the style of "nekkid lady" playing cards, except it's all pictures of men in thongs. And orcs. And ogres. And trolls. The curse is the after-effect of that image, burned into your brain...
  • Cursed coins: a bag of 1000 gold coins. Each one causes a point of (one of) STR, INT, WIS, DEX, CON, or CHA damage. Cumulatively.
  • Clown Doll: a freaky doll that always teleports to just ahead of the user any time it is discarded.
• Cursed, but not evil:
  • Ring of Flight: causes you to be weightless
  • Ring of Unebriation: immune to drunkeness... but not hangovers. May actually be evil.
  • Leather Armor of Hunger: +2 armor, but must eat 4 times a day.
  • Gauntlets of Meager Power: grants strength of 8 (-1) or -5 points, whichever is less.
  • Arrows of Returning: return upon being fired. Instantly. Before hitting the target.
  • Sword of Sarchasm: a sentient sword. "Oh yeah, great job, picked the cursed sword that can talk to you in your sleep, nice work, idiot."
  • Grind Stone: when used for any task, that task must be continued for the next 24 hrs. You will get an XP or stat boost from it, though!
  • Box of Fun: a brightly colored box. When opened, randomly tosses 1d6 cursed items at everyone within 15'.
  • Scroll of Chainmail: reader must make 10 copies and distribute them to his friends, or be at -4 for all actions.
  • Lenses of Powersight: you see everyone as lesser than yourself, and easily defeated.
  • Goggles of Science:
  • Mask of Misplaced Identification: causes anyone within 20' to hear the description of an item in the best light (if bad) or worst light (if good).
  • Belt of Opening: actually has a 3/day knock spell, self-target only, command word "Behold!" Oh, yeah.
• Evil, but not cursed:
  • Sword of Corruption: deals corruption points instead of damage
  • Bag of Glitter: as dust of appearance, except it curses everyone within 10', and anyone they touch, making invisibility and stealth impossible. Note that it isn't cursed, but casts curse when used.
  • Staff of the Greater Demon: command word 'destroy'. Nothing else is known about the object.
  • Packrat: a stuffed rat. Turns any object it is placed inside into a bad of devouring.
• Neither evil, nor cursed:
  • Ring of Unsleeping, aka Ring of Paranoia: (the second ring the orc was wearing) grants +2 bonus to AC and saves, and constantly warns you of danger
  • Amulet of Kitten Immunity: immune to all kitten- or cat-based magical effects.
  • Seven League Boots: each step carries you seven leagues*.
  • Helm of Allure: You are irresistibly attractive to anything even vaguely living; automatic success on seduction.
  • Sword of Decay: if it hits a target (0 AC regardless of armor), there is a 25% chance to cause rust as a rust monster.
  • Sword of Healing: causes 1d6 healing on the target. On top of the 1d6 damage it does as a sword. Handy against undead!
  • Sword of Retaliation: magical bonus equal to the number of times the creature hit you; does no damage if never hit.
  • Effreeti Lamp: rub to collect three wishes!
  • Potion of Age Reversal: causes the imbiber to age in reverse.
  • Bag of ???: looks like a normal bag. Has some sort of acid in it. If someone puts something into it, then hands it to another person, the object is gone; holding it again returns the object to the bag. It's magical, but the sage would need to do some intense study to actually figure out what it does.

While Rhea was interested in the corruption-causing sword, Fayleen was adamant that she destroy it. Luckily, the Packrat had caused the bag they stuffed it in to become a bag of devouring, so they stuffed all the cursed items and the sword into the bag, erasing them from existence. Handy, that! As a note: let me know if there were any uncursed items you got rid of, or cursed items that you kept.

*Seven leagues: a league is the distance a man can walk in an hour; in ACKS terms, seven-league boots essentially cause you to travel a full day's journey in a single step. I mean that literally - these boots are based on your normal (land-based) movement speed. You can take a step in the boots once per hour.

There wasn't any XP to be gained this time, from treasure or enemies, but the party did gain a powerful new friend, and a bunch of dubious magical items. As before, starting XP is 137,669 XP.

Oneshot: The Dead Enders

Còigeamh 3-4, 6639 (about 4 months before the current events)

Party: ...unknown?

Around town, a number of people began to awaken...

A young woman awoke, pain washing over her. She had fallen through the roof of a barn, and though her helmet saved her life, it hadn't saved her life. Drifting in and out of consciousness, she managed to remove the chunk of wood from her face and stop the bleeding, but her eye was long gone. Once she rested, she was able to find her sword, and make a dress from some cloth. Hearing footsteps outside, she quickly left, hoping to find healing at the medical clinic up the street.

Scared, hiding in the dark, a young mortician - Jesper Sharpe - listened to two men as they argued with his boss, then murdered him. Gathering a set of armor, and the coins from a dead man's eyes, Jesper fled to the safety of his friend's shop - George Weapon, a dwarf. The dwarf suited up in armor and grabbed a massive hammer, but by the time they returned, the murderers were gone... as was the corpse!

Who, only minutes before, had sat up with a groan. Again, with no memory, he grabbed what he could, and tried to run to the church for help. The church was locked; turning, he found the front entrance of Mr. Lloyd's Mortuary and Clinic. Inside was the body of the proprietor, and naught but a tangle of medical tools on the ground, scattered through his blood. A single footprint marked the killer's passage. Through the door, he ran into an angry dwarf and a shaking mortician; and, in the middle of arguing with the two, a young woman entered the shop, still in some pain, and seeking medical attention...

A thief gingerly sat up, trying not to jostle his aching head; his "friends" from the thieves' guild had tried to murder him, but did a rather bad job of it. Not that he knew that, the blow from behind had ended his memory. Finding a knife and a note, he stumbled to his feet and wandered down the hill, to check out the barn. Inside, he searched around, seeing a few footprints, and high above... a helmet, impaled on a beam, with a shred of cloth fluttering in the breeze. Looks like someone took a tumble through the roof. He searched the hay, and found a sword - and as nice as it looked, it wasn't, because it zapped him, badly! Leaving it, he wandered into the pub across the street.

Meanwhile, a cleric of a dark god came to, and fell off his chair with a crash. He spent a few minutes trying to remember where and who he was; the potion he had imbibed was meant to kill him, but he managed to survive, losing only his memory. Shrugging, and gathering a broken chair leg to use as a weapon, he decided to head to the pub. Why not?

The third actor in this play is undoubtedly the saddest. Awakening in immense pain, the once-guardsman drank his last health potion, stabilizing himself, though at the cost of his memories. The stroke he had left permanent damage that would never be healed. His memory gone, he could only struggle into his old armor, and go in search of answers. He reached the Mangy Cow the same time a handsome young man, clothed in plate, arrived. The barkeep, recognizing the old man, greeted him by name. "Hey, Burl! You don't look so good..."

He poured some ale, and handed it to the fellow, refusing payment. "You can always drink here for free, good man. You've earned it."

Behind them, a smelly fellow wearing a hyena-skin jacket wandered in. The barkeep frowned. "You, however, pay double."

The thief saw a young woman, who introduced herself as "Sin" - short for Cynthi, the name on his note, perhaps? "What? Cynthia? That witch!?! No! It's short for Sinda'alellechna, my great-grandmother's name!"

The well-armored man set off for the inn; the old man followed, and the thief brought up the rear. They arrived just as another unlikely three were heading upstairs to their rooms - a thin, pale man, a frightened mortician, and an injured woman, missing an eye, but still carrying a sword.

The group retired for the night. In the morning, the thief went for a stroll, looking for some nicer clothes with all the money he had. Walking past the thieves' guild, he was recognized by the two members, who attempted to kill him again. They failed, and lost their lives for the trouble... but he gained a few more knives, a bow, and a handful of arrows, so there's that, right?

Back at the inn, they met with the others. Confessing they had lost their memories, they began working together to find out what was going on. The only clue they had was the thief's note, which lead them to a woman named Cynthia. Still wondering what the sword did, the thief suggested the well-armored fellow try it out. The armored man, reaching to pick it up, felt a jolt of energy, twice as powerful as the one the thief had felt; he nearly fainted, then and there! Dropping the sword, he suggested no one ever do that again.

The group moved to the church, to speak with the vicar; the cleric felt a case of the willies upon entering, and the vicar demanded the ex-corpse leave immediately. He kept his eye on the thief, but reacted with surprise and happiness upon meeting the swordswoman. They seemed to share a connection of some kind. That symbol of the church - a rising sun or starburst - seemed familiar...

Recognizing the design from the sword, the thief suggested the woman try it out. As she lifted it, a flood of warmth and happiness suffused her. Not only was this sword her own, but she could wield two swords at once!

The six descended on Cynthia's. Distracting some guards, they allowed the thief to slip around behind, where he found Cynthia! He threw a knife at her, and she returned in kind a magic missile, and the battle was begon in earnest. The two guards at the front went through the building; the party ran around the sides, charging in. The ex-corpse, having cast a spell into his weapon, swung at the first guard. His blade cut deep, tearing the mail, then blasting the female warlock, her imp familiar, and the other guard with burning fire! The first guard crumpled to the ground, dead, as the others - ineffectually - swung and missed. Cynthia fired another magic missile, striking the thief again, but then the greataxe of the Ruinguard - for that is what he truly was - sliced again, the blade passing through her familiar, the other guard, and finally embedding in Cynthia's spine.

Cynthia dealt with, the party moved into the shed, where they found a great cauldron, guarded by a young girl. The girl took the arm of the Ruinguard, and began to lead him out, but the mortician - really an Ectomancer - began casting a spell, and she changed form. No longer a little girl, but a desert ghoul! All but the ruinguard were paralyzed in shock; she clawed at him, but her touch was not paralyzing, oddly. The others shook themselves from their shock and attacked, the old guard finally stabbing a hole cleanly through the ghoul.

Outside, two more foes were waiting: a bulky barbarian fellow, and a pale-skinned man in a cloak. Between them was Lt. Mangrave, of the city guard - and Cynthia's lover. The fight began as the barbarian began to shift into a werewolf...

Mangrave managed but a single strike before he was brought down. The blade-dancer, two swords flashing, struck down the werewolf, and together, they brought down the cloaked man - a vampire! The cleric struck last, jamming his broken chair leg into the heart of the foul creature, and in a moment, the campire was naught but ash on the wind.

They turned to the casualty - the old guardsman, fired for doing what was right, now struck down by the vampire. A good death, after a long life, full of hardships...

The ruinguard's memory came back slowly. He remembered a conversation; the men who had kidnapped him had said they were going to control him, then swap him for someone he looked like - a lord's son. However, he was that man! The son of a lord of Zahar, sent to earn his battle-scars.

The thief was part of it from the beginning; he had kidnapped the young lordling, and his "friends" turned on him, hoping to be paid more for it. The cleric, too, had assisted with the ritual in bringing the dead man to life again, though none had counted on the man having a bloodline from ancient Zahar, and becoming not only more powerful, but retaining his independance.

The guard, old and tired, had overheard the plot, and tried to stop it, and was fired for his troubles. His suffered a stroke because of it.

The young Ectomancer, Jesper, learned his true calling from his master; his master had put in a call for help from the church...

...Who sent the blade-dancer to investigated. Pursued by corrupt guards, she hid on top of Mr. Bodb's barn, only to fall through the roof. The injury damaged her brain; while she eventually remembered most of her life, there were always parts that would escape her.

Finally, the cleric never really got his memory back. While a simple Neutralize Poison would have sufficed, he never really got around to figuring that out.

That leaves only the black cauldron, the tool of the enemy, to account for. But, I think, its story may not quite be told...

The Pointless Tower: Death of a God

Dara 13-15; next holiday, Darkest Day, Dara 35.

The Party:

• Rig Bigny, Gnomish Beastmaster
  • Flit, the bat familiar
  • Clench, the Wardog War-Badger
  • Midnight, the Panther
  • Noona, the Lion
  • Faufe Yitaw, Dogwere (Badgerwere?)
    • Rawf, Wardog familiar
    • Aroof, Wardog familiar
  • Llarm Paphyra, Elvish Polydoctorate
    • The Metal Man, construct
• Caranthir, Human Leader of Men
  • Rhea Trueheart, Elvish Nightblade
  • Lucille "Luce" Burwood, Fighter
  • Elenora Garrard, White Mage
  • Gimli Trollriver, Dwarven Fury
• Gróin of Norston, Dwarven Sapper
  • Laurita Gomez, Priestess
• Quetgar, Thrassian Assassin
  • Zarc, Thrassian Gladiator
• Sorvald, Thief
• Mor Gibs, the Wonderworker

Last we left them, the party was on the third level - a swampland. They explored a bit, and dealt with a Kelpie (a horse-like water creature). Then, they ran into nine lizardmen, camped on one of the larger islands. Quetgar was welcomed with open arms, and the rest of the party by association. Quetgar (and the others that spoke Thrassian) knew one thing for certain: these lizardmen were redneck! Their accent had such a twang in it, banjos were unnecessary. They spat into the swamp, had a boat up on blocks in their front yard, drank gray liquid-analogue they called "Swampshine" from a jug, and called each other the Thrassian equivalent of Jimmy-Bob, Mary-Beth, and Bubba. They even brought out instruments and gave a rousing performance of "Mama done raised me good" and "Muh Boat Sank When I Ran Over Muh Pet Gator," which Quetgar was kind enough not to translate. Quetgar thought it was real down home, while everyone else just tried not to lose their lunch when Mama grinned. Mama... was not a looker.

In friendly territory, the group decided to rest; Gróin built a wooden hut, and they slept in relative peace. The next... well, morning is a strong word; the light never really changed much from "darkish" to "grayish". After some friendly warnings, they left the lizardmen to continue on.

Past the lizardmen camp was the old lizardmen camp, complete with sunken boats, followed by a marshy dam. A few of the group picked up leeches, and had to smash the ugly things. A cloud of Stirge ("Skeeters") on the following island were dealt with handily by Caranthir's freezing breath. However, the black pudding that slithered out of the water was much harder to deal with. Caranthir ferried everyone to the next island as Gróin and his priestess burned the slimy thing to dust.

The next island had a large hut on it, and inside the hut were six Greater Thrassians and a Hag. After some negotiations, they began a pitched battle, which (of course) resulted in the deaths of the lizardmen and hag. The building cleared, they continued across a flat bridge to the final island. As the last of them crossed, the bridge was pulled back, and sank into the swamp...

A man leaned against a boat, smoking a long pipe; an elf, in fact. As he applauded, Caranthir (in Draconic) addressed him. The elf responded with a formal greeting, and greeted each of the party in turn, in their own native language. "You fight well! And hardly a smudge on the lot of you - well, at least the dwarf. The rest of you may need a bit of a shower!"

And with those words, a breeze kicked up, and tepid water rained down from the nearby trees, drenching them. The elf nearly fell over laughing. Finally, wiping a tear from his eye, he sighed. "Ah, but you've come to hear my story, no doubt. I am Manannán, Trickster God of the Elves and Gnomes," he said with a bow. "Loki, a rapscallion if ever I know one, hurled an uncouth creature into my realm. It seemed to keep to itself, but finally, I realized the Fair Folk had all but vanished from the swamps. I cursed the day I let the creature live, but in the time I lay idle, it grew stronger. I doubted I could best it in single combat, so I offered it a deal. It had eaten or driven off most of my followers here, so I suggested it find a greater host, and sent it east, to the towns of men. They like killing things over there, I'm sure it all worked out just fine."

For a moment, the trickster looked almost sad. "I know it spread wrath and ruin, for that is what it spread here, but I was not strong enough, and though I raised an army of the fallen, something tells me it would have turned them against me. Oh, which reminds me, there was supposed to be some sort of battle! Hold on a moment."

Green mists flowed across the bog, as a form stepped out of the swampy water... it was draped in kelp and swamp-weeds, though its form was familiar - a Mummy! A... swamp mummy? Laurita Gomez stepped forward, brandishing her holy item, and yelled, "Begone!" as holy light flowed from her grasp. The mummy raised its arms to shield itself from the light, and slowly sank back into the mire from which it came.

Manannán cheered. "Thank goodness that's over with. Well, I'm off!" He flipped his boat over, climbed into it, and sailed into the mists, leaving behind a small stoppered vial of faintly-glowing red liquid. One of the trees bent into a staircase, and so the party climbed...

The top of the stair was stone; after exiting some sort of entry area, the party came upon the withered husk of a great copper dragon, pressed against a wall, its head covered by its decaying claws. Its hide was covered in crude, cruel, and inflammatory words of a very anti-dragon nature. Even non-dragons found the words offensive, and Caranthir was incensed. Gróin, at Caranthir's insistence, Spoke with Dead. The dragon's voice issued forth immediately, groaning and crying out. Caranthir asked, "What happened to you?" and the creature answered, "Killed, by the great darkness!" Caranthir asked, "Do you want to be resurrected?" and the dragon's corpse actually shuddered. The party could hear the bones shaking and the creature's voicebox tearing as it screamed, "NO NO NO NO NO NO!!" over and over again. Finally, Caranthir asked if the creature that killed it could be defeated, and it answered, "No, flee, FLEE!"

A little unsettled by what could make a venerable dragon terrified, even after death, the party continued on. The passage to the right seemed to be blocked off with towering green crystals that ran ceiling to floor; a small alcove contained a few copper coins, and a single lightning-bolt shaped wand. In the passage to the left, a few heard a dripping sound, but couldn't place the source. They found a blocked door in a chamber, and Caranthir immediately removed the board blocked it. Then, realizing how that could go terribly wrong, he quickly replaced it. Looking through the wood, he saw only stone behind it. Whew.

Next was a stairwell; the Fury, Gimli, was sent to explore, but came back in a moment - it was blocked at the bottom. Then came a room, with a stone golem with green eyes inside... and a forcefield of some kind, blocking the path. The golem was quickly dealt with, and the forcefield dropped as the golem's eyes shattered. Then, a fighter, who was quickly killed; the shield he was holding broke into dust, and the next forcefield dropped. However, a few seconds later, the man's body rose again as a zombie!

Finishing off the creature a second time, the party continued on. In the third room was... darkness. After contemplating how to find what was in the room, Gróin cast Continual Light... which cancelled out the Continual Darkness spell. The room was otherwise empty. The fourth room contained nothing but a single, small cube - a cube of force! Quetgar happily picked it up, but as soon as the cube reached the doorway, it shattered. The fifth room contained a staff, and as soon as the party entered the room, they felt themselves become the target of a Bane curse. Oddly, there was no more forcefield; the party looked at the next room, which contained great gears behind thick glass, and a single steel pole, with wires running to the wall. The last room's door was filled with a dazzling disintegration field. It was impassable, even with a protection spell, as there was a stone wall just behind it.

Gibs fired the wand at the metal pole, and lightning arced to the tip. Lights flickered, and the gears began to move.

Just beyond the seven rooms was another stairway, blocked again; another set of massive doors, and leading into (presumably) the inner room, a pair of doors with seven runes. Yet another blocked stairway, then several rooms that were empty, or filled with... strange things. One held a man, eating the rotting corpses from a pile of bodies; another held four men, who stared at the group with empty eyes, then attacked. The four men, once slain, rose again as zombies. The eating man, Caranthir slew, and he rasped, "Thank you..." as he died.

Finally, they returned to the last two puzzles. Gróin, remarking that perhaps the room was a puzzle like the light/dark room, cast Bless; the staff cracked in two, and the Bane curse was lifted. And, with that, the final puzzle finished itself; the disintegration field vanished, and the stone door behind it slid into the wall, leaving only some musty old books of little value. Likewise, the final two runes on the door went out, and it was easily pushed open.

Looking into the main room, the party finally realized what this building was - a cathedral! The main chapel was filled with broken things - broken pews, broken glass, and broken people. Bones are strew across the floor. At the center of the floor, a sunken depression was filled with dark blood. At the end of the room was a large altar, and a man, slumped over it, his hands hanging down as blood dripped off his fingers. His eyes were wide and unblinking. As the party entered, he suddenly jerked upright like a marionette on a string, burst into an impossibly loud laugh, and began to babble, "He told me... He promised me... power! Wealth! Wine, women, and song! HAHAHA! But he lied Lied LIED! TRICKERY! Foolish mortal, FOOLISH MORTAL! Death, death, and blood on my hands," as he looked down at them. "I lead them, I brought them, I called them and they came, and death, DEATH is what they have now! And I have naught but ETERNAL TORMENT! Power, oh yes, wealth, certainly, but CURSED I am to live here! ETERNAL SUFFERING! And you," he cried, pointing at the party, each member in turn, "You come here, for power, for wealth, but at what COST!"

He looked towards the sky, pointing up, and screamed, "I bring no more sacrifices!" then at the party, "FLEE, OR FACE ETERNAL TORMENT!"

And with that, he fired a lightning bolt from his hand. The others attacked, quickly killing him, as he slapped ineffectually against their armor. He dropped a fireball, then was brought down. He body quickly burst into flame, and was burned to ash... then rose again, stepping out of the blood in the middle of the floor! The others quickly fired all they had at him, as he fired fireballs at them (even after he had been hit!). Gróin cast Bless on the altar as Rig tossed Holy Water onto it. The man suddenly dropped to his knees, sobbing, as the power of the altar lessened its hold on him. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry... please... I'm so sorry," he cried, his tears mixing with the blood pooling around him. Gróin, realizing what that may mean, nodded toward him, and Laurita stepped forward. She prayed, and with her hand on his head, asked if he was truly repentant; the man nodded, miserably. She intoned a spell of forgiveness - Atonement - and immediately, the blood from the pool flowed away from him. He stood, a new light in his eyes... and then immediately flash-burned to ash.

The other explored, finding two rooms filled with gold , gems, and magical treasure. Gróin and the others scooped up the magical stuff, and sent Gimli to see what was in the third room. He returned, nonplussed, and mentioned that it was wet, and there was some scroll hanging on the wall.

Rig, Caranthir, Rhea, Elenora, Gróin, Laurita, and Quetgar crowded into the small room. Quetgar felt a drip of something cold hit his cheek (and, oddly, felt himself heal slightly). He looked up... and froze. Above them was a man, a young man, dressed in simple garb, wearing winged shoes, with an oak staff strapped to his arm. Hooks embedded in his flesh held him to the ceiling, as pinkish blood dripped from the hole in his chest where his heart used to be. It was his blood that was feeding the altar. And not just any blood. The blood of a god. This, then, was the Neutral god of Mareten, Viatoremus, the god of tricks, travelling, and treasure. What's more... that meant that the party was, at that moment, standing where someone had killed a god. This was once the neutral god of what is arguably the most powerful trio of gods in Mor-Thir, and he is dead. Not temporarily vanquished, not banished, not returned to the eternal plane, but DEAD. The party made a collective fear check at -20 and, of course, failed horribly.

Once they collected themselves, Caranthir realized what the vials contained - blood, from each of the gods (yes, Loki claimed it was his tears, but he's a trickster, what do you expect?). He had the party dump the vials into the flowing blood, and a moment later, they heard a CRACK as the altar split in two. Suddenly, the oppressive atmosphere was gone.

Caranthir saw the scroll Gimli had mentioned, and looked over it... and with that, he felt the compulsion to read it:

The Prophecy is Read, and woe to he, whose lips its foul words cross
But harken still, despite evil chill, for these words may stem your loss.
The Spirit of Doom to Mor-Thir comes, full power does it possess
In the scales of lore, it's power restored, no end in sight... unless...

The Protector of Hills defeated must fall, the Shield's bearer must die
The Revoker of Darkness must be bathed in light, and down the Weightless must fly
The Bringer of Undeath need be Blessed,
    and the Gatherer meet equal force
'Til alone at the end, the Cleanser will fail,
    and our warriors return to the Source

He continued reading, but the dark words that followed, no one understood. His lips began to blacked, and suddenly, he found himself, and the party, standing in the Street of the Gods.

Meanwhile... Midnight, Noona, Gimli, and Gibs were left staring at the treasure. Gimli and Gibs grabbed a bunch of gems and jewelry, then headed into the third room. As Gibs realized, and dealt with, the fact that he was standing in a room where a god had been killed... Gimli stole the god's shoes. And, in attempting to grab his staff, pulled the god from his hooks, and onto the floor. Placing his foot in the god's armpit, Gimli gave a good yank on the staff, and released it from its bindings. Gibs stared, open-mouthed. Gimli then pulled the scroll from the wall, and in turning it over, started to read it, with the same effect. Soon, Midnight, Noona, Gibs, and the confused Gimli were standing on the Street of the Gods as well. They turned to see the building behind them - the final building on the Chaotic end of the Street. It fell inward on itself, falling to dust, and leaving naught but a blackened slab.

Realizing this could be a bad place to stay, the party quickly left the Street, and found an expensive (and secure) inn to rest at. Along the way, they kept catching glances of red, black, and blue faces staring at them out of lampposts, or an elf with a long pipe winking at them, or a man dressed in a green-and-gold suit doffing his hat to them. Finally, they were able to rest. Quetgar stacked all the room's contents against the door, and slept fully dressed; Caranthir dumped all his treasure out on the floor, and slept on top of it.

Unfortunately, the treasure (at least half a million in gold, even platinum) was gone; scrying on it only showed foul creatures and horrible landscapes. Luckily, Gimli and Gibs managed to rescue a fair amount of stuff...

• XP from Encounters: 22,686
  • 1 Kelpie (65)
  • 4 Leech, Giant (2280)
  • 8 Stirge (104)
  • 1 Black pudding (1,550)
  • 6 Lizardman, Greater (840)
  • 1 Hag (3100)
  • 1 Mummy Lord (4200)
  • 1 stone golem (3900)
  • 1 lvl 14 fighter (3800)
  • 5 zombies (133)
  • 4 cursed fighters (104)
  • 1 cursed eater (10)
  • 1 cursed, powered man (2600)
• XP from Treasure (once sold): 85,550
  • 36 jade carvings gods (7,200 gp)
  • 3 amethyst cylinder seals depicting religious scenes (3,600 gp)
  • 2 alexandrite (1,000 gp)
  • 1 sunset amethyst (750 gp)
  • 1 opal regalia (1,000 gp)
  • 1 diamond (1,000 gp)
  • 1 baroque pearl (2,000 gp)
  • 1 Black pearl (2,000 gp)
  • 1 amber regalia (2,000 gp)
  • 1 opal regalia (4,000 gp)
  • 2 flawless diamond (8,000 gp)
  • 1 amber regalia (7,000 gp)
  • 1 ruby regalia (7,000 gp)
  • 1 emerald (8,000 gp)
  • 5 platinum reliquaries with crystal panes (22,000gp)
  • 1 Gold studded with topaz regalia (9,000 gp)
• Total XP: 108236
• XP per PC: 13530
• XP per Henchbeing: 6765

Oh right, magical treasure! The party collected: 10 Potions, a Scroll of Ward against Elementals, a Scroll of Ward against Lycanthropes, a Scroll of Ward against Undead, 6 other scrolls, 3 Treasure Maps, 5 Rings, 1 Rod, 2 Staffs, 3 Wands, a Cube, a pair of Boots, a Cloak, a Helm, a Barrel, a Necklace, 4 Swords, 1 Sling, 1 Spear, 1 Axe, 1 Leather Armor, 2 Plate Armor, 2 Shields, 6 Arrows, 7 Crossbow Bolts, and a second set of 4 Crossbow Bolts. Oh, and a staff and a set of shoes from a god. You know, the usual.

Treasure, Really Big Orcs, and Chaos

Deug 6-28, 6638; next holiday, Wintermas, Dara 1

The Party:

• Rig Bigny, Gnomish Beastmaster
  • Flit, the bat familiar
  • Clench, the Wardog War-Badger
  • Midnight, the Panther
  • Noona, the Lion
  • Faufe Yitaw, Dogwere (Badgerwere?)
    • Rawf, Wardog familiar
    • Aroof, Wardog familiar
  • Llarm Paphyra, Elvish Polydoctorate
    • The Metal Man, construct
• Caranthir, Human Leader of Men
  • Rhea Trueheart, Elvish Nightblade
  • Lucille "Luce" Burwood, Fighter
  • Elenora Garrard, White Mage
  • Gimli Trollriver, Dwarven Fury
• Gróin of Norston, Dwarven Sapper
  • Laurita Gomez, Priestess
• Quetgar, Thrassian Assassin
  • Zarc, Thrassian Gladiator
• Sorvald, Thief
• Mor Gibs, the Wonderworker
• Gianna, a Gnomish Trickster

After managing to store all their treasure, the party moved on, flying to the Mejastan city of Cuidado Mercado. They identified some of their magic items (a Cloak of Protection +2, Eyes of the Eagle, Ring of Protection +1, Ring of Water Walking, Scarab of Protection (5), and an interesting Brooch of Number Confusion). Taking off alone, Caranthir and Gróin, with Princess Maedhe in tow, went from treasure to treasure, picking up money and magical items.

Finally, picking up Quetgar and Sorvald on the way, the trio (and their henchmen) ended at a large, ruined castle - the location marked Not Worth It on the Fae treasure map. The outer rings of the castle were, indeed, ruined, but inside was something else altogether. As they passed through a doorway, they felt a magical field pass over them. Oddly, a map of the place seemed to fill their heads. Cautiously, they picked their way forward. Caranthir sent Gimli into a pool of water, where he retrieved a strange box. Gróin, using one of many wands of Detect Magic, noted it didn't seem magical. However, when an invisible servant opened the box, it seemed to be filled with a delicious meat-and-gravy-filled loaf of Dwarven Bread! Gimli, his mouth watering, ate a large slice, and declared it the best bread he'd ever eaten. After waiting to see if anything went wrong, Caranthir also took a bite. The bread was indeed delicious - and filling, too!

Further inside, Sorvald padded ahead. Suddenly, he could no longer hear the party behind him! He turned and retreated, reappearing before them. The doorway seemed to be a teleport of some kind; the party progressed, trying to follow the map in their heads, and teleporting around. They found a room full of magical treasure, blocked by a magic field, though little else of worth. In a far room, they found a gibbering Chaos Beast, though were able to destroy it without injury. And upon doing so, they heard a rasping voice calling out a challenge. They shouted back, and the voice merely laughed at them. Further on, they found a series of locked rooms, holding various nasty creatures: a hellhound, a dire ogre, a dire troll, and a creature none of them recognized - a snake, with a woman's head. The creatures were dealt with, and the party moved on, though the voice continued to call challenges to them.

Finally, the party came face to face with the creature. It was a huge monster, towering over their heads, and wielding a massive sword. Over the throne it sat on was a statue of a creature with long arms and a loose, slavering mouth. The monster on the throne - an orc, though larger than any orc they had ever seen - introduced itself as Skadge the Terrible, the Mage-Killer, the Curse-Bringer, and demanded single combat with a member of the group. Sorvald tried to get out, but it seems the teleporters only go one way. He did find a room full of corpses, however. There was quite a bit of conversation, more than Skadge was used to; Laurita contacted her deity, and asked three questions: Can we get out? (Yes.) Without anyone dying? (No.) Can we kill the orc and not get cursed? (Yes.)

Still, the party wasn't terribly interested in a fair fight. First, they attempted to un-curse the orc with Dispel Magic. Skadge burst into flame and burned to nothing, leaving only a glowing orange ring; then, a moment later, he reappeared on the throne, grinning, the ring on his finger. Caranthir attempted to Cancel the ring... and things went sideways, into the Chaos Plane, where the castle was originally from, it seems.

Skadge, the immortal, fearless orc, began to freak out. He grabbed a bundle of items from near his throne, and headed for the room that had the Chaos Hulk in it, the party not far behind. They barricaded themselves in the room as the air began to turn stale and heavy. A feeling of dread seemed to wash over them... and then the skittering started. Scratching at the door, then pounding, and finally, a piercing scream in their minds, followed by a sicking, oily feeling, radiating into their minds. There was a pull on their very consciousness...

While most of the party resisted, Rhea and Elenora suddenly broke into smiles. "There's nothing to worry about!" Rhea cried, heading for the door. She began trying to pry it open, and Elenora jumped up to help. Caranthir, realizing this was likely Not A Good Thing immediately grabbed Elenora, and the Princess grabbed Rhea. The two struggled, but eventually, were knocked out. After some time, the oily feeling eventually pulled away, followed by the skittering claws. The air cleared, and Skadge roused himself. The party followed him back to his throne room. Finally, Caranthir decided that he would step forward to fight the huge creature. Skadge grinned, picking up a huge helmet and slamming it onto his oversized head. The face-cover creaked open, and he slammed his head onto the side of the throne, bending the face-cover back in place. A green energy field surrounded them. With a roar, Skadge charged forward; Caranthir, in dragon form, breathed his icy breath onto him. The two traded breath and blows; though he was magically enhanced, Caranthir was fading quickly. Skadge was well-armored, well-armed, and wearing quite a few magical items; for once, it was a fair fight. Down to the last blows, the two were evenly matched, but Caranthir finally managed to bring Skadge down. The green energy field sparked and arced to the ground, and Caranthir, as Skadge's body burst into white-hot flame. Moments later, Skadge reappeared, laughing. "It's been 200 years sine anyone defeated me! Well fought, dragon-man!"

Quetgar, meanwhile, was camped outside the castle. He was minding his own business, watching the flying carpets and such, when suddenly... the castle vanished. One moment, it was there, towering against the backdrop of the ocean, and the next, it was gone! He waited all night, and in the morning, it finally reappeared with a wet "thup" sound. Curious, he wandered in, through the teleport maze, nodding appreciatively at the corpses of the fallen monsters, and eventually ending up in the throne room, just as Caranthir was finishing off Skadge.

The party was treated to a magical buffet, full of delicacies from home. After their repast, Quetgar asked if he could face Skadge, who accepted immediately. Again, the fight was close, though ultimately, Quetgar was the winner. Skadge, pleased at having found two able to best him, handed the party a bulging sack of gold - 20,000 gold, in fact, with some loose gems in the bottom. He implored them to find him a worthy foe, something that he could battle forever, and offered them incredible treasures if they could do so.

Bidding the orc farewell, they returned to Cuidado Mercado and sold their last treasures.

• Magical treasure:
  • Cube of Illusion
  • Amulet versus Crystal Balls and ESP
  • Box of Create Food (10 meals, once a day)
• Treasure:
  • 79,000 gp
  • 20,000 gp
  • 28 rare books, worth 150gp each (1 stone per 2 books)
  • 10 crates of armor and weapons, worth 225gp each (10 stone each)
  • 1 emerald regalia (6,000 gp)
  • 1 Flawless facet cut diamond (8,000 gp)
• Encounters
  • chaos hulk (3650)
  • dire ogre (790)
  • dire troll (1300)
  • hellhound, greater (790)
  • Child of nasga (3100)
  • Skadge (2700)
• Treasure sold: 175,200 gp
• Because this XP is combining a lot, here is each individually:
  • Rig: 16686
  • Midnight and Noona: 8343
  • Caranthir: 45609
  • Rhea, Elenora, and Laurita: 21454
  • Gimli: 12677
  • Gróin: 42909
  • Quetgar: 42333
  • Zarc: 8343
  • Sorvald: 25353
  • Mor Gibs and Gianna: 16686

And, because it's the new year, and some of these quests may be getting long in the tooth: a list!

• The dragon-people of the desert: destroy the scales
• The Seekers: protect knowledge and... well, actually they haven't said a lot. Huh.
• Gutsack's "friend" the Efreeti: find the fire plane
• Artemis' other things
• Elrik's other things
• A disturbance in the mountains of the north
• Skadge: find a fearsome opponent he can battle forever, without having to leave his castle

Bilkthistle Wanderthrust's Magical Funhouse

Seachdamh 8-15, 6638; next holiday, Guard's Day, 8/3!

The Party:

• Rig Bigny, Gnomish Beastmaster
  • Flit, the bat familiar
  • Clench, the Wardog War-Badger
  • Midnight, the Panther
  • Faufe Yitaw, Dogwere (Badgerwere?)
    • Rawf, Wardog familiar
    • Aroof, Wardog familiar
  • Llarm Paphyra, Elvish Polydoctorate
    • The Metal Man, construct
• Caranthir, Human Leader of Men
  • Rhea Trueheart, Elvish Nightblade
  • Lucille "Luce" Burwood, Fighter
  • Elenora Garrard, White Mage
• Gróin of Norston, Dwarven Sapper
  • Laurita Gomez, Priestess
• Quetgar, Thrassian Assassin
  • Zarc, Thrassian Gladiator

Finally, the party reunited. Rig, having spent some time hanging out around town, relayed that there was an interesting new dungeon discovered somewhere nearby; after some discussion, the party decided that they would take a look. As it turned out, the dungeon was... well, an interesting place. A funhouse, actually. Created by a mad Gnomish wizard.

Let that sink in a moment.

The rooms, it seems, were full of jump scares, puzzles, and various horrible tests. Two different tests included "basically doing nothing," in fact. One room sported a portion of a chess board; scraping the pieces across the board, the group managed to awaken a level 1 fighter by moving the pawn out of order, and a level 5 fighter, mounted, by moving the knight out of order. They didn't manage to awaken whatever was behind the queen and the bishop, much to my dismay, and their joy.

Not long afterwards, the party came across a room with a table full of potions; each person was to choose a potion, then drink it. Choosing from a rainbow of odd potions - none of which were anything the dwarf or gnome had run across - the party chose the following colors:

• Rig choose green; upon drinking it, he turned a bright shade of purple.
• Llarm chugged a solid black potion; his eyes lit up, projecting a 90' beam of light.
• Faufe drank a smokey potion; his health suddenly fluxuated. His max health will change by 1d8-4 each day.
• Caranthir drank a white potion; something happened, but he wasn't quite sure what.
• Rhea drank one of the invisible potions, and gained a familiar - an undead snake! (As a giant python)
• Elenora chugged the infrared potion, and was suddenly able to speak and understand Draconic and Nobiran... but forgot Common.
• Gróin drank a shimmering potion; his beard began to grow - so quickly that he must shave twice a day, or suffer a -1 to his attack throw!
• Laurita, finally, drank a purple potion; she realized that the taste of meat was unpalatable, and can now only eat fruit or vegetables.

Wandering through yet more puzzles, they party managed to gather some magical treasure! Though two items were damaged, they did gain a pair of Eagle Eyes, a potion of Restore Life and Limb, a wand of Lightning Bolt, and a wand of Fireball. Eventually, the party made its way to the exit, where Luce was waiting. Happily, they found a small trove of treasure - piles of mundane items, along with a Staff of Wizardry, a Wand of Fear, a Helm of Teleportation (with no teleportation spell active), a shiny helm they decided was likely a Helm of Change Alignment, and a Necklace of Adaptation!

• Experience from treasure: none
• Experience from encounters:
  • 1 knight (lvl 5 fighter: 200 XP)
  • 1 pawn (lvl 1 fighter 10 XP)
• Total experience: 210 XP
• XP per PC: 38
• XP per henchman: 18

The Godkiller Part I: Meet the God Squad

Dara 22-24

Next holiday: Darkest Night, Dara 35th, the winter solstice.

The Party:

• Rig Bigny, Gnomish Beastmaster
  • Flit, the bat familiar
  • Clench, the Wardog War-Badger
  • Midnight, the Panther
  • Faufe Yitaw, Dogwere (Badgerwere?)
    • Rawf, Wardog familiar
    • Aroof, Wardog familiar
  • Llarm Paphyra, Elvish Polydoctorate
    • The Metal Man, construct
• Caranthir, Human Leader of Men
  • Rhea Trueheart, Elvish Nightblade
  • Lucille "Luce" Burwood, Fighter
  • Elenora Garrard, White Mage
• Gróin of Norston, Dwarven Sapper
  • Laurita Gomez, Priestess
  • Sal Rrentath, Thrassian Gladiator
• Quetgar, Thrassian Assassin
  • Zarc, Thrassian Gladiator
• Gottes Segen, Cleric
  • Betül Tirmizi, Ectomancer

After doing some shopping for magical items and selling Caranthir's ring of fire resistance, the party was accosted by a city guard. He asked that they accompany him - he needed their help. Or rather, the Guard needed their help; they were led to the entrance of the Street of the Gods.

Merry Wintermas and A Stolen Song II

Wintermas, Dara the 1st - 21st

Next holiday: Darkest Night, Dara 35th, the winter solstice.

The Party:

• Rig Bigny, Gnomish Beastmaster
  • Flit, the bat familiar
  • Clench, the Wardog War-Badger
  • Midnight, the Panther
  • Faufe Yitaw, Dogwere (Badgerwere?)
    • Rawf, Wardog familiar
    • Aroof, Wardog familiar
• Caranthir, Human Leader of Men
  • Rhea Trueheart, Elvish Nightblade
  • Lucille "Luce" Burwood, Fighter
  • Elenora Garrard, White Mage
• Gróin of Norston, Dwarven Sapper
  • Laurita Gomez, Priestess
• Llarm Paphyra, Elvish Polydoctorate
  • The Metal Man, construct
• Quetgar, Thrassian Assassin
  • Zarc, Thrassian Gladiator
• Gottes Segen, Cleric

The night before Wintermas, the various members of the party went shopping for gifts; Caranthir bought some restorative spells and good alcohol, Gróin bought a fancy staff from a quirky gnome, and the others purchased a few trinkets here and there. Caranthir also found a new host-body for their trapped nightblade friend - a convict on death row. After placing the soul of a murderous ranger into a stone in the jail, her body was left in trade for the nightblade to inhabit. He wasn't particularly pleased to be inhabiting the body of a female, but it was better than being trapped for all eternity. He introduced himself as Elidyr Eyriendor, but turned down Caranthir's offer to stay with the party. He had been gone a long time, and needed to renew contact with the world. However, if the party needed his assistance, they needed only call and he would come as soon as he was able.

Contests, Teleporters, and Artifacts, Oh My!

This was an eventful session, with a lot going on! The Party:

• Rig Bigny, Gnomish Beastmaster
  • Flit, the bat familiar
  • Clench, the Wardog War-Badger
  • Faufe Yitaw, Dogwere (Badgerwere?)
    • Rawf, Wardog familiar
• Caranthir, Human Leader of Men
  • Rhea Trueheart, Elvish Nightblade
  • Lucille "Luce" Burwood, Fighter
  • Elenora Garrard, White Mage
• Gróin of Norston, Dwarven Sapper
  • Zarc, Thrassian Gladiator
• Llarm Paphyra, Elvish Polydoctorate
  • The Metal Man, construct
• Airsen Birdmaster, Airwalker
  • Sara, Airwalker
  • Erik Stein, Dwarven Vaultguard
• Sneakily, Spy
  • Dzixud, Thrassian Assassin

As you may recall, the adventurers returned from the depths of the tower to recover. The next morning, they awoke to the sound of running feet and shouting voices; thankfully, it wasn't an attack - it was a party! In fact, it was Guard's Day, named for those who served on the wall, in the mountains, and in cities everywhere. The party met up with Llarm and Rig (though Caranthir was still in bed for his week of bed rest). There were mini-potions to buy, events to participate in, and contests to win. The group tried their hands at a few of those.