Chaos On A Cellular Level

Treas 8, 5540

The Party:

• Laurita Gomez, Priestess
  • Herman Thorpe, Ectomancer
    • Baelnar Grimtor, Dwarven Sapper
• Crolack, Thrassian Gladiator
  • Kurt Steinbacke, Dwarven Deep Monk
• Saphira Moonstone, Gold Skinscribe
  • Pentzkin Singletossle Pocketspringer, gnomish beastmaster
  • Alun Tsornyl, Sylph Ranger Red Dragonborn Ranger
• Wendy, Terrifying Clown Bard
• Aria Balakdo, Gnomish Librarian
  • Emily Emerald, Librarian Guard
  • Gunilla Sandström, White Mage
  • Lautaro Rodriguez, Explorer
• Characters retired (for now, at least):
  • Rig Bigny, Gnomish Beastmaster
    • Flit, bat familiar
    • Clench, Wardog War-Badger
    • Midnight, Panther
    • Noona, Lion
    • Faufe Yitaw, Dogwere (Badgerwere?)
      • Rawf, Wardog familiar
      • Aroof, Wardog familiar
    • Llarm Paphyra, Elvish Polydoctorate
      • The Metal Man, construct
  • Caranthir, Human Leader of Men Dragon
    • Rhea Trueheart, Elvish Nightblade
    • Lucille "Luce" Burwood, Fighter
    • Elenora Garrard, White Mage
    • Gimli Trollriver, Dwarven Fury
  • Aingeal Bàs Eleonara, Witch

Treas 8, 5540

Before I start, a reminder on how XP and leveling works:

• XP gained from fighting monsters is gained at the beginning of the next session
• XP gained from coins and gems is gained once it leaves the dungeon/nest/encounter
• XP gained from trade goods (barrels of rum, monster parts, etc.) is gained once the goods have been sold.
• You can't gain more than 1 level per session; if you would gain 2 levels, instead you are 1 XP away from your next level.
• If a henchman gains a level, he immediately rolls to see if he stays in your service: +1 for each level gained while in your service (including this one), -1 for each catastrophic event (losing an arm, dying, etc.), plus any morale bonuses. If a henchman levels above your own, the henchman will immediately leave your service.

This is important, because while youve gotten a bit of treasure... it's not going to level you up until you haul it out of the dungeon. And now, on to the adventure!

Deciding to travel into the dungeon, regardless of the warnings of its guardians, the party headed inside through a particularly resilient door. After wandering through some very empty rooms and down some well-made stairs (though not of dwarven make), they found a large dome of some sort, with a huge door set in the top. After much struggling, Wendy and Crolack managed to open it, revealing a tube of some sort, set into the floor. Looking down inside, a tiny dot of light could be seen below, just a glimmer in absolute darkness. Saphira chucked a pebble with Light cast on it inside, and watched it fall down and down, until it seemed to just blend into the tiny dot of light below. Whatever it was, the hole was likely hundreds of feet below them.

Exploring around, Crolack found another heavy door, locked; nearby was another door, though with no visible knob or latch. Opting for the more door-like door, Crolack bashed on it a while, and managed to get it open. Behind the door were a lot of metal stairs - about 100 feet down in switchback stairs. At the bottom, there were a few boxes stacked, in not-too-terrible condition. Sorting through, they found:

• 6,000 silver pieces (600 gp, 6 st)
• 75,000 copper pieces (600 gp, 60 st)
• 204 bricks of salt (7sp, 1/2st each) (142.8 gp, 102 st)
• 53 ingots of common metals (1gp, 1/2st each) (53 gp, 26.5 st)

The passage was wide and clean, with no signs of life anywhere. It curved, gently, both down and away from the door. Venturing along the passage, the party found a largish room, circular, with a large pole in the exact center of the room - Saphira correctly summarized that it was the same tube they found above.

After a bit of searching, the party found a small secret door: only a few square feet, with some items stashed inside:

• 500 cp (1/2 st)
• 2 metamphora of preserved special components (1st/60gp, 800 gp each) (1600 gp, 265.6 st)
• 2 silver arrows, each worth 5gp (10 gp, 0.3334 st)

Also in the nook was a large red button, which Wendy was about to happily press, but Crolack got there first. Almost immediately, the room lurched, and began spinning around! As it spun, it dropped, as if it were on a huge screw. It dropped down and down, until finally grinding to a halt. The door was blocked with solid stone, though a tiny sliver of a gap was visible. Wendy flexed his muscles, and with a herculean shove, managed to drag the room about half an inch, giving him enoguh of a view to show that the crack was another doorway, and hypothetically, the two doorways were supposed to align. After much grunting and shoving, Crolack and Wendy managed to move the door another quarter of an inch, but no more. Sighing, Wendy pulled out a Chime of Opening, and with a single clear note, the room shifted, aligning the doorways perfectly.

The hall beyond was filled with plants - mushrooms, moss, mold, and decay. There was enough light from a few glowing lichen to illuminate the passage. Cautious investigation revealed standing water, pooled beside roots wedged against the ground. Crolack was at home in the six inches of slimy, sloshing water, but the others grimaced at getting their boots wet. Those that weren't floating on flying carpets, anyway. A little farther, Crolack found... a pair of cockatrice! Crolack leaped into battle, with the others not far behind, and soon the lizard-birds were little more than mush. Oddly, the birds were smooth-skinned, with only a few feathers at the tips of their wings; something about the slimy cave life, most likely. In the nest, they found a huge pile of copper pieces, silver pieces, and even some platinum, along with some tusks and ivory.

Sloshing down the swampy passage, the party found another room; inside, Laurita cast Speak with Plants, hoping to get some information from the lush jungle inside the room. Large, bulbous mushrooms spotted the room, and trees hung down from the ceiling. Grass and reedy plants covered the floor. Numerous voices answered Laurita's question; shrill, giggly voices begged her to come closer, come closer! - while deep, raspy voices mumbled, "PAIN... GROW... PAIN... GROW!"

A third voice also spoke out of the darkness, low, dry, and rumbly. "You do not belong here..."

A Detect Evil spell showed that while there was evil dotted all around the room, there was a creature in the center that was very, very evil - mostly likely the dry, rumbly voice. After some back and forth, Wendy hit upon a wonderful idea. Using his Helm of Alignment Changing, he would ride a carpet inside, and befriend whatever was there! He enacted his plan, and dropped out of the sky onto... an undead Treant. Grabbing the mummy-tree, he wrestled the helm onto its uppermost branches. The tree flung him to the ground once, but was unable to dislodge him a second time, and in a moment, was a confused and lawful mummy tree. Because why not.

Meanwhile, Crolack, understanding that the room was full of evil puff-mushrooms, grabbed a couple vials of military oil from Saphira, lit them up, and chucked them into the room. The mushrooms burned in bursts of fire, and the reeds spread the fire quickly - though once the fire reashed the trees, the roof-bound plants began to grow! Wendy and the mummy-treant zipped out of the room in a wash of flames, barely missing Pentzkin; a moment later, the burning trees shoved through the doorway, filling the passage and cracking the doorway itself before finally stopping their growth - probably having entirely filling the room behind them.

Last but not least, Wendy asked the undead Treant if it would like to be his henchman, to which it agreed with fanatic loyalty. Because of course it did. (Details on it below)

• XP from encounters:
  • 2 cockatrice (700)
  • 1 undead mummy treant (5+1*** HD, 860 XP)
• XP from treasure
  • 6,000 silver pieces (600 gp, 6 st)
  • 75,000 copper pieces (750 gp, 75 st)
  • 204 bricks of salt (7sp, 1/2st each) (142.8 gp, 102 st)
  • 53 ingots of common metals (1gp, 1/2st each) (53 gp, 26.5 st)
  • 30,000 copper pieces (300 gp, 30 st)
  • 200 platinum pieces (1000 gp, 0.2 st)
  • 10,000 silver pieces (1000 gp, 10 st)
  • 28 animal tusks (168 gp, 16.8 st)
  • 21 pieces of ivory (1st/100gp, 54 gp each) (1134 gp, 11.34 st)
  • 500 cp (1/2 st)
  • 2 metamphora of preserved special components (1st/60gp, 800 gp each) (1600 gp, 265.6 st)
  • 2 silver arrows, each worth 5gp (10 gp, 0.3334 st)
• Total XP gained: 1560
• Total XP once out of the dungeon: 3880
• Total XP once sold: 1497.8 (the metamphora and silver arrows were kept)
• Total treasure now: 3380
• Total treasure once sold: 1497.8
• XP per PC: 240
• XP per henchman: 120
• Treasure per PC: 845 (in copper, silver, and platinum)

The Mummy Treant currently has 28 HP. It is 5 HD, Str: 11 (+0), Int: 18 (+3), Wis: 9 (+0), Dex: 12 (+0), Con: 11 (+0), Cha: 11 (+0), and its level progression is as follows:

• Level 5: 4,500 XP; atk 5+; AC 7; 2x attacks, 1d12, mummy rot
• Level 6: 9,000 XP; atk 4+; AC 8; 2x attacks, 2d6, mummy rot
• Level 7: 18,000 XP; atk 3+; AC 8; 2x attacks, 3d4, mummy rot
• Level 8: 36,000 XP; atk 2+; AC 9; 2x attacks, 2d8, mummy rot
• Level 9: 72,000 XP; atk 1+: AC 9; 2x attacks, 2d8, mummy rot
• Level 10: 144,000 XP; atk 0+; AC 10; 2x attacks, 3d6, mummy rot
• Level 11: 288,000 XP; atk -1+; AC 10; 2x attacks, 3d6, mummy rot
• Level 12: 576,000 XP; atk -2+; AC 11; 2x attacks, 4d6, mummy rot
• Level 13: 1,152,000 XP; atk -3+; AC 11; 2x attacks, 4d6, mummy rot
• Level 14: 2,304,000 XP; atk -4+; AC 12; 2x attacks, 5d6, mummy rot

Additionally, it can control up to 2 normal trees within 60' as a treant. It saves and gains proficiencies as a fighter. It has General Profs: Alchemy, Caving, Endurance, Knowledge, Naturalism; Class profs: Dungeon Bashing, Weapon Focus (fists: double damage on nat 20). Like other undead, mummies are unaffected by poison and charm, sleep, or hold spells. Further, mummies may only be harmed by magical weapons, spells, and fire-based attacks, all of which do only half damage. Except for, in this case, magical or mundane fire does full damage, because it's a tree.

Brier Patch Tussle

Treas 8, 5540

The Party:

• Rig Bigny, Gnomish Beastmaster
  • Flit, bat familiar
  • Clench, Wardog War-Badger
  • Midnight, Panther
  • Noona, Lion
  • Faufe Yitaw, Dogwere (Badgerwere?)
    • Rawf, Wardog familiar
    • Aroof, Wardog familiar
  • Llarm Paphyra, Elvish Polydoctorate
    • The Metal Man, construct
• Caranthir, Human Leader of Men Dragon
  • Rhea Trueheart, Elvish Nightblade
  • Lucille "Luce" Burwood, Fighter
  • Elenora Garrard, White Mage
  • Gimli Trollriver, Dwarven Fury
• Laurita Gomez, Priestess
  • Herman Thorpe, Ectomancer
    • Baelnar Grimtor, Dwarven Sapper
• Crolack, Thrassian Gladiator
  • Kurt Steinbacke, Dwarven Deep Monk
• Saphira Moonstone, Gold Skinscribe
  • Pentzkin Singletossle Pocketspringer, gnomish beastmaster
  • Alun Tsornyl, Sylph Ranger Red Dragonborn Ranger
• Aingeal Bàs Eleonara, Witch
• Wendy, Terrifying Clown Bard
• Aria Balakdo, Gnomish Librarian
  • Emily Emerald, Librarian Guard
  • Gunilla Sandström, White Mage
  • Lautaro Rodriguez, Explorer

Treas 8, 5540

After camping for (the rest of) the night in the goblin village, the party journeyed onward. After a short conversation with one of the ancient trees - who didn't have much to say about the location to which they were heading, as trees don't have much concept of travel, apart from their original fall and consequent growth up, down, and out - they used a ring of Command Plant to move the tree aside, letting in sunlight, and letting them easily fly out through the canopy. They traveled on, avoiding any creatures beneath the canopy, and eventually running into a group of young copper dragons. The dragons weren't terribly interested in the "site of great power", saying that their parents had told them it was dangerous, and that they should't go over there.

Ignoring the obvious warnings of danger, the group continued toward their destination. They stopped to sleep, and fought a regenerating hydra, pummeling it with enough damage to keep it from regaining its heads. Once again, they flew onward, finally reaching the location by later afternoon. It wasn't hard to find; the deep, dark forest was entirely cleared around the area. The site was a perfect square, with four large mounds at the corners, and a jagged series of earthen berms forming a sort of simple maze to the center. The berms were covered with strange, jagged things, like enormous briers, with huge, sharp thorns. On closer inspection, the briers were inorganic - stone, not woody plants. Weathered metal signs filled the maze, with images of skulls, running people, people covered with sores, and many more pictures of the dark angel on the maps.

In the very center, there was an irregularly shaped four-sided structure; the architecture was strange, with no line being parallel or perpendicular to another. On each of the four sides was a sign; the forth side had an additional, weathered wooden sign. A helm of comprehend languages could not read the original writing, but it could decipher the writing on the wooden plaque:

This place is a letter message... and part of a system of messages... pay attention to it! Sending this message was important to us. We consider[ed?] ourselves a powerful culture. This place is not a place of honor... no respected act is remembered here... there is nothing appreciated here. What is here is dangerous and retaliatory for vengeful towards us. This message is a warning about danger [specific]. The danger is in a specific location... it increases towards a center... the center of this danger... is of a particular size and shape, and below us. The danger still exists, in your time, as it was in our time. The body [society?] is at risk and can kill [body kills or danger?]. The form of the hazard is derived from energy. The risk peril is only dropped released if you are physically disturbing this place. It is better to avoid this place and leave it unattended.

After a few minutes of puzzling over the message, the party was interrupted by the arrival of five men, clad in somewhat odd leather armor, but otherwise unarmed. The leader demanded that they leave this place; Lorita was the only one who could understand them, and asked why, but was only repeatedly told to leave. After a few more requests for more information, and explaining their quest, the men became even more terse, finally ending with, "Leave or be destroyed!"

The men were... well prepared. Before the fight even started, they spread out to avoid area attacks; though they were only wearing leather armor, the armor was of such quality that they dodged damage like it was nothing. Their bare fists rained down damage, nearly taking down Wendy and bashing the rest of the party pretty well too. Two of the men ran behind a nearby berm, and returned with two contraptions following them - strange mechanical platforms with heavy shields and dual repeating crossbows that shot up the battlefield with ease. One after the other, however, the men dropped; eventually, the machines were damaged, and the last of the men brought down.

Realizing the men were lawful only after the fight, the party began binding their wounds and bringing them back to the land of the living... The leader was restored to full health, with minor scarring, only requiring a night of bed rest; two of the others also only needed a night of bed rest, though while one only had minor scarring, the other sustained damaged genitals (though, oddly, he didn't seem very upset by that fact). One of the fighters sustained a severed hand, and needs a week of bed rest, keeping the two engineers company, both of whom were lamed. The last of the fighters was utterly destroyed, and unable to be brought back without a powerful spell...

• XP from encounters:
  • 1 Martial Artist leader (2600 XP)
  • 2 Martial Artist (3200 XP)
  • 2 Martial Artist (2200 XP)
  • 2 Engineers (1200 XP)
  • 2 shielded moving platforms (4** HD, 380 XP)
• XP from treasure: (none)
• Total XP from encounters: 9580
• XP per PC: (Laurita, Saphira, Wendy): 1916
• XP per Henchthing: 958 (Herman, Baelnar, Pentzkin, Alun)
• Further XP once you reach civilization and sell treasure: 487 (total)

The moving platforms were reduced to composite parts (and fewer than they started with), but the crossbows were mostly ok. There are four crossbows - automatons - of exquisite design, though two sustained some damage; you don't know much about automatons, but these appear to be quite expensive.

As a note, automatons fall into two categories: those that require an operator, and those that do not. Those that require an operator are essentially just machines, and will not count towards XP - though they do count towards treasure. Automatons that do not require an operator are treated like enemies, giving XP by their HD and special abilities. What that means is, an automaton with an operator is similar to a magical weapon; as long as it is not used, it can be sold as treasure, but researching it removes the ability to get XP from selling it.

The Final Scale

Naoidheamh 35, 6639: Beastnight!

The Party:

• Rig Bigny, Gnomish Beastmaster
  • Flit, bat familiar
  • Clench, Wardog War-Badger
  • Midnight, Panther
  • Noona, Lion
  • Faufe Yitaw, Dogwere (Badgerwere?)
    • Rawf, Wardog familiar
    • Aroof, Wardog familiar
  • Llarm Paphyra, Elvish Polydoctorate
    • The Metal Man, construct
• Caranthir, Human Leader of Men
  • Rhea Trueheart, Elvish Nightblade
  • Lucille "Luce" Burwood, Fighter
  • Elenora Garrard, White Mage
  • Gimli Trollriver, Dwarven Fury
• Gróin of Norston, Dwarven Sapper
  • Laurita Gomez, Priestess
  • Herman Thorpe, Ectomancer
    • Baelnar Grimtor, Dwarven Sapper
• Crolack, Thrassian Gladiator
  • Kurt Steinbacke, Dwarven Deep Monk
• Mor Gibs, Wonderworker
• Saphira Moonstone, Gold Skinscribe
  • Pentzkin Singletossle Pocketspringer, gnomish beastmaster
  • Alun Tsornyl, Sylph Ranger
• Te'a Tsuki Megumi, Elven Polydoctorate
  • Harvey Usagi, Rabbitwere
• Fayleen Ross, Darklord
  • Zai-car, Zaharan Ruinguard
• Aingeal Bàs Eleonara, Witch

Their armies teleported in, the party quickly organized both the battle and the strike team. With Rig Bigny commanding the battle, they launched their attack...

The units under Rig's command destroyed a unit of bloodhounds, a (terrifying) unit of death chargers, a unit of zombies, two skeleton units, and a flight of wyverns. The dwarven troops, a unit of archers, and a unit of infantry were lost.

The units under Ajeela's command destroyed a unit of bloodhouds, a unit of necropedes, a unit of ghouls, a unit of zombies, and a bone dragon (carrying a commander). She lost her barbarian troops.

Fayleen Ross, commanding the lizardmen, destroyed three units of skeletons.

The war raged back and forth, until Herman Thorpe managed to Hold the majority of the skeleton armies. Shortly afterward, the strike team entered the tower, and quickly (through Locate Object, Detect Traps, and a pile of other spells, wands, and magical objects) managed to race through the magical maze with little effort. They arrived at the scale, and quickly dumped more magic (and holy water) onto the black altar holding the evil scale; those on the battlefield felt its powers weaken. After some quick thinking, Te'a cast Remove Curse on the scale, Saphira quickly wrapped it in a temporary Bag of Holding, and Gróin teleported the lot of them to the main temple to Thor, in the Mountain Dwarf capital.

The evil sinkhole removed, the remaining undead were quickly cut down, while the living creatures routed, fleeing to the hills and forests. Even the general and his unit of manticores fled.

XP is a little weird, so bear with me. Hopefully this isn't too unbalanced.

• XP from destroyed units
  • 1200 Skeletons (15600)
  • 240 Ghouls (6960)
  • 240 Zombies (6960)
  • 120 Chaos-zombies (9600)
  • 120 Wights (9600)
  • 20 Necropedes (16400)
  • 240 Bloodhounds (11280)
  • 60 Death chargers (8100)
  • 1 Bone Dragon (12800)
  • 60 Wraiths (11400)
  • 240 Harpys (75 of the 240 killed, the rest routed: 15600)
  • 20 Wyverns (22800)
  • 60 Manticores (5 killed; the rest routed: 40800)
• Total XP from units: 187,900
• XP lost from friendly losses
  • Berserkers (60 died) (2520)
  • Paladins (0 died) (0)
  • Green Men (2 died) (0)
  • Bladedancers (4 died) (0)
  • Clerics (11 died) (0)
  • Heavy Infantry (98 died) (600)
  • Longbowmen (60 died) (600)
  • Dwarven Heavy Infantry (60 died) (1200)
  • Lizardmen (40 died) (0)
  • Gnomes (0 died) (0)
  • Roc Lobbers (1 died) (0)
• Total XP lost: 4920
• XP for Rig Bigny (General): 91,490
• XP for Rig Bigny (Commander): 22,110
• XP for Fayleen Ross (Commander): 2,340
• XP for Mor Gibs (independent hero): 5115
• XP for Llarm, Ffaufe, Alun, Herman (commanders/lieutenants): 2557

Of course, that's not all. There is also treasure! Hooray! The surviving troops collected 1/2 of the battlefield treasure as payment (or final gifts for the family of the dead); the rest, as well as the treasure in the tower proper, will be split up as desired. With a little bartering, I'm sure you can trade items for cash, so I'll just tally it all as if you got 100% gold.

• 1,231,200 gp worth of supplies, equipment, and other battlefield treasure was recovered
• The tower contained the following (well-labeled!) treasure:
  • 81,700 gp in silver, electrum, gold, and platinum
  • 12 jasper (600gp)
  • 8 shells (240gp)
  • 6 citrine (300gp)
  • 4 onyx (200gp)
  • 5 wrought silver studded with moonstone (25,000gp)
  • 23 jade carvings of heroes, monsters, and gods (4600gp)
  • 1 wrought gold necklace (100gp)
  • 1 porcelain curio (200gp)
  • 1 Bone curio (24gp)
  • 1 wrought copper curio (110gp)
  • 1 moonstone curio (3000gp)
  • 1 Fine wood curio (600gp)
  • 6 jars of spices (4800 gp, 6 st)
  • 2 vials of rare poison (2200gp)
  • 1 coat of chimera fur (19,000 gp)
  • 4 rolls of silk (1600 gp, 16 st)
  • 33 rugs of wolf hide (990 gp, 6.534 st)
  • 24 pieces of elephant ivory (1152gp, 11.52 st)
  • 1 metamphora of preserved special components (600 gp, 99.6 st)
• XP from captured/killed commanders:
  • Hakan Soroush, Zaharan Ruinguard/Mummy Lord: 8200
  • Chulcx Bloodbather, Thrassian Assassin/Vampire: 6600
  • Abigail Rojas, Bladedancer: 3900
  • Geoffrey Wells, Mage: 4800
  • Kharajit, Rakshasa: 3650
  • Porco Chefe, Demon Boar: 2000
  • Sisskt, Arane: escaped
• XP from treasure: 762616
• XP from enemy heroes: 29150
• XP for destroying the final scales: 10000
• Total character XP: 801,766
• Total gold for Rig, Caranthir, Gróin, Mor Gibs, Saphira, Te'a, and Fayleen: 108,945 gp
• XP for Rig, Caranthir, Gróin, Mor Gibs, Saphira, Te'a, and Fayleen: 66,814
• XP for Faufe, Llarm, Rhea, Gimli, Herman, Baelnar, Pentzkin, Alun, Harvey, and Zai-car: 33,407

Also recovered were the following well-labeled items: Leather Armor +1, Potion of Climbing, Oil of Slipperiness, Scroll of Arcane Spells (Written in Old Zaharan): Invisibility (2nd lvl), Scroll of Ward against Elementals, 2 Short Sword +1, Potion of Sweet Water, Ring of Protection +3, 15', Ring of Wishes (1 wish remaining), Scroll of Divine Spells (Written in Old Nobiran): Angelic Choir (1st lvl), and a Treasure Map to 20,000gp. Additionally, the mage's library was rigged to explode if he ever left the area; the dark knowledge within was lost.

Along with the magical items in the tower, there were some found on those killed or captured: Hakan Soroush (captured) was carrying a greatsword, four bone-vials, a crystal ball, and a wand. Chulcx Bloodbather (dead) was wearing chain armor. Abigail Rojas (captured) was wearing a helm, leather armor, and a cloak, and carrying a sword, a knife, and a scroll. Geoffrey Wells (captured) was carrying a staff, a rod, and a wand. The Rakshasa and the Demon Boar had no special items, and were both killed. The only survivor was the arane...

That's a LOT of XP, so I will remind you that you can only advance one level at a time; if you got enough experience to level up more than once, you must cut it off one XP below the next level. However, the XP for the final scales trumps that, so if you're about to go over, you can keep at most 833 over the next level for PCs, or 417 over the next level for henchmen.

Curses! (Foiled Again)

Naoidheamh 14, 6639; next holiday is Beastnight, 9/35

The Party:

• Rig Bigny, Gnomish Beastmaster
  • Flit, the bat familiar
  • Clench, the Wardog War-Badger
  • Midnight, the Panther
  • Noona, the Lion
  • Faufe Yitaw, Dogwere (Badgerwere?)
    • Rawf, Wardog familiar
    • Aroof, Wardog familiar
  • Llarm Paphyra, Elvish Polydoctorate
    • The Metal Man, construct
• Caranthir, Human Leader of Men
  • Rhea Trueheart, Elvish Nightblade
  • Lucille "Luce" Burwood, Fighter
  • Elenora Garrard, White Mage
  • Gimli Trollriver, Dwarven Fury
• Gróin of Norston, Dwarven Sapper
  • Laurita Gomez, Priestess
  • Herman Thorpe, Ectomancer
    • Baelnar Grimtor, Dwarven Sapper
• (As-yet-unnnamed), Thrassian Gladiator
  • Kurt Steinbacke, Dwarven Deep Monk
• Mor Gibs, the Wonderworker
• Craydos Silverskin, the Gold Skinscribe
  • Pentzkin Singletossle Pocketspringer, gnomish beastmaster
  • Alun Tsornyl, Sylph Ranger
• Te'a Tsuki Megumi, Elven Polydoctorate
  • Harvey Usagi, Rabbitwere
• Fayleen Ross, Darklord
  • Zai-car, Zaharan Ruinguard

Some of the party still having things to do, the remaining members decided to investigate the map they found. Incidentally, the map lead them to the same location that the Fae treasure map lead...

After some discussion, the group made an educated guess, and teleported to the vicinity of where they believed the treasure lay. It was a good guess; they landed in the correct hex, near a small village. A dusty farmer type wandered out to greet them. They asked if he knew where a certain hill was found; he laughed, and answered, "Well, it was nice meeting you, seniors, senioras, senioritas, but no one leaves that place alive. It's a tourist trap - literally. I wouldn't go in unless I had a deathwish!"

Still, the party pressed for the location, so he lead them to a low hill. Part had collapsed, leaving a low cliff of sorts; a bright red line was drawn in front of the entrance, and a fence surrounded the entire area. Several signs, in various languages, mentioned that stepping over that line will kill you, the local government can't be held responsible for you doing that, and if your religion or home country prohibits or regulates suicide, this counts if anything does. Shrugging, the party assured the man that they would be able to pass through the traps. Fayleen, using her new Gnomish Joke Book, summoned a bug, which was hit with a flurry of arrows as it entered. And then a scything blade, which bisected it. Following the traps in, and trying to disable or avoid them, the party slowly moved inside. They removed a high-powered Cancellation trap, avoided a pit full of yellow mold, dispelled an anti-magic shell and double lightning trap, blocked a slamming wall trap, crawled under a spinning blade trap, then dispelled yet another cancellation trap. The next slamming wall trap, though large, seemed poorly repaired; after that, there were only two pits, covered with blankets. Finally, a pile of stones were stacked over a trip wire; that trap didn't even reset after use.

At the end of the traps, they party reached four fearsome skeletons, clad for battle! Two skeletons held out their polearms, losing the head of one polearm, and the head of the other skeleton in the process. The first skeleton lost its armor; the fourth skeleton, already missing an arm and a leg, tried to raise its sword, but only managed to pivot a full 360 degrees. The priestess turned them easily, though frankly, a loud shout could have put those fellows down. They were a single hit point each, and likely would have killed themselves trying to wield their own weapons. Interestingly, the skeletons were not human, but orcish.

The wooden doorway was trapped with two magical sigils: a 12d6 fire trap, and an enervate trap, both of which were dispelled.

Inside was a somewhat homely room, with three occupants. First was what was obviously a mage of some sort, wearing rotting robes, sitting in a broken wooden chair, his feet propped on a casket. Second was a huge orc, crammed into a defensive position. The third, after some investigation, was inside the casket - a desiccated priestess. Additionally, there were a number of items in the room; a large rug, a fold-up table, and a huge pile of various items, from swords and armor to boxes, bags, and brooches. Most importantly, there was an anti-magic field that filled the entire room...

The entombed priestess was wrapped in some sort of ritual-level binding, a black rag with fine text written on it. The party attempted to communicate with her, but learned something else important: the Staff of the Dead has a 25% chance of raising the corpse as a zombie. The corpse stood, moaning, and began to lumber towards them. Laurita quickly Turned the corpse, and it was blasted into dust... or, rather, it started to blast into dust, but the magical bindings held the corpse together, so it was merely un-zombified. The second cast worked much better, and they asked the dead priestess three questions, which I should have written down but did not. The priestess answered Gróin's suspicions: she was Ajeela!

Meanwhile, the other party members managed to find a pair of secret exits, one of which was a deathtrap, and the other of which lead outside. After successfully triggering the deathtrap and plummeting to his doom, Harvey was rescued and healed by Gróin and company. Using Rhea's Gloves of Curse Prevention, the party gathered the various rings (including the two on the hands of the huge orc), dropped them into a bag, and lugged them through the secret tunnel. Gróin and Laurita, left in the room to talk with the corpse, found themselves suddenly very interested in some of the treasure; Gróin picked out a dashing pair of glasses, while Laurita picked a lovely amulet. After a bit of back and forth, the rest of the party returned, and found that they, too, wanted to grab some items for themselves. Rhea, still wearing the gloves, found that none of the items satisfied her; she picked through them all, finding nothing. Finally, irritated, she tried on a belt, and finally felt relief. Curious at what it did, she crawled out through the exit, stepped away from the anti-magic field. She read the word written on the belt, presumably the command word: "Behold!"

In an instant, the belt activated, and she found her clothes flung open! Startled, she quickly re-dressed, and looked up to see a small child staring open-mouthed, and a pair of very large rabbits rolling on the grass in laughter. Embarrassed, she rejoined the group. The belt, by the way, is enchanted with the Knock spell, self-targeting, usable three times per day. The others chose magic items as well: a scroll for the polydoctorate, a smooth rock for the ruinguard, and so forth.

In the chamber, Laurita had asked Ajeela's corpse if she wanted Atonement; she agreed. Laurita placed her hand on the corpse's forehead to begin the spell, but before she could even start, she found herself suddenly switched into Ajeela's body! And, worse, Ajeela herself was in the priestess's body! (As an aside, this was actually an ideal situation; Ajeela, being a 14th level priestess, and Laurita, being a 9th level priestess, were able to keep all their spells and such in each other's bodies.) After much consternation and accusation (from both sides), they figured out a possible method to return everyone to normal: go to Ajeela's church, and return her eyes, and from there cast the Atonement spell.

Gathering up the various magical items, they stuffed them all in a bag, sorted out which ring was the anti-magic field, and stuck it back into the chamber. Additionally, they added a few more traps, and re-hid the secret exit. They told the farmer, and he didn't seem as shocked as they expected... He rushed back to his house, and returned with simple NDAs for them to sign - non-disclosure agreements. Adventure-tourists frequently came by, and the village made a significant amount of money from them, from selling goods and from recovering their gear if they all snuffed it in the hill. The non-disclosure agreement ensured that the party wouldn't tell anyone that they actually managed to escape the traps... there had been a number of adventurers that had actually made it through, but it was much more mysterious if he could say that none had ever returned. The party was a little leery, until he explained that the signs were there to keep people out, and if anyone went it, it was their own dumb fault; he couldn't stop an adventurer if he tried. They agreed, and signed.

In Foreston, they visited a church of Alehim, and restored Ajeela's eyes; she and the priestess swapped back into their proper bodies, and she healed Gróin's eyes... though he did get a bird-foot out of the deal. Oh well. Ajeela decided to stay at the temple, for now, but said she would be willing to return if the party had a great need.

While that was happening, the rest of the party took their items to a sage, who looked them over. It was a fairly fast job - most of the items were cursed, and his great tome of reference material meant he didn't have to do much study. Here's the list he came up with:

• Cursed and evil:
  • Rug of Curse Attraction, which causes anyone who touches it to yearn for a cursed item.
  • Amulet of Infection: once per hour, curses a random item (this is what the priestess chose).
  • Deck of Many Thongs: cursed. Oh, gods. A deck of cards in the style of "nekkid lady" playing cards, except it's all pictures of men in thongs. And orcs. And ogres. And trolls. The curse is the after-effect of that image, burned into your brain...
  • Cursed coins: a bag of 1000 gold coins. Each one causes a point of (one of) STR, INT, WIS, DEX, CON, or CHA damage. Cumulatively.
  • Clown Doll: a freaky doll that always teleports to just ahead of the user any time it is discarded.
• Cursed, but not evil:
  • Ring of Flight: causes you to be weightless
  • Ring of Unebriation: immune to drunkeness... but not hangovers. May actually be evil.
  • Leather Armor of Hunger: +2 armor, but must eat 4 times a day.
  • Gauntlets of Meager Power: grants strength of 8 (-1) or -5 points, whichever is less.
  • Arrows of Returning: return upon being fired. Instantly. Before hitting the target.
  • Sword of Sarchasm: a sentient sword. "Oh yeah, great job, picked the cursed sword that can talk to you in your sleep, nice work, idiot."
  • Grind Stone: when used for any task, that task must be continued for the next 24 hrs. You will get an XP or stat boost from it, though!
  • Box of Fun: a brightly colored box. When opened, randomly tosses 1d6 cursed items at everyone within 15'.
  • Scroll of Chainmail: reader must make 10 copies and distribute them to his friends, or be at -4 for all actions.
  • Lenses of Powersight: you see everyone as lesser than yourself, and easily defeated.
  • Goggles of Science:
  • Mask of Misplaced Identification: causes anyone within 20' to hear the description of an item in the best light (if bad) or worst light (if good).
  • Belt of Opening: actually has a 3/day knock spell, self-target only, command word "Behold!" Oh, yeah.
• Evil, but not cursed:
  • Sword of Corruption: deals corruption points instead of damage
  • Bag of Glitter: as dust of appearance, except it curses everyone within 10', and anyone they touch, making invisibility and stealth impossible. Note that it isn't cursed, but casts curse when used.
  • Staff of the Greater Demon: command word 'destroy'. Nothing else is known about the object.
  • Packrat: a stuffed rat. Turns any object it is placed inside into a bad of devouring.
• Neither evil, nor cursed:
  • Ring of Unsleeping, aka Ring of Paranoia: (the second ring the orc was wearing) grants +2 bonus to AC and saves, and constantly warns you of danger
  • Amulet of Kitten Immunity: immune to all kitten- or cat-based magical effects.
  • Seven League Boots: each step carries you seven leagues*.
  • Helm of Allure: You are irresistibly attractive to anything even vaguely living; automatic success on seduction.
  • Sword of Decay: if it hits a target (0 AC regardless of armor), there is a 25% chance to cause rust as a rust monster.
  • Sword of Healing: causes 1d6 healing on the target. On top of the 1d6 damage it does as a sword. Handy against undead!
  • Sword of Retaliation: magical bonus equal to the number of times the creature hit you; does no damage if never hit.
  • Effreeti Lamp: rub to collect three wishes!
  • Potion of Age Reversal: causes the imbiber to age in reverse.
  • Bag of ???: looks like a normal bag. Has some sort of acid in it. If someone puts something into it, then hands it to another person, the object is gone; holding it again returns the object to the bag. It's magical, but the sage would need to do some intense study to actually figure out what it does.

While Rhea was interested in the corruption-causing sword, Fayleen was adamant that she destroy it. Luckily, the Packrat had caused the bag they stuffed it in to become a bag of devouring, so they stuffed all the cursed items and the sword into the bag, erasing them from existence. Handy, that! As a note: let me know if there were any uncursed items you got rid of, or cursed items that you kept.

*Seven leagues: a league is the distance a man can walk in an hour; in ACKS terms, seven-league boots essentially cause you to travel a full day's journey in a single step. I mean that literally - these boots are based on your normal (land-based) movement speed. You can take a step in the boots once per hour.

There wasn't any XP to be gained this time, from treasure or enemies, but the party did gain a powerful new friend, and a bunch of dubious magical items. As before, starting XP is 137,669 XP.

Airplane

Ochdamh 25 - Naoidheamh 13, 6639; next holiday is Beastnight, 9/35

The Party:

• Rig Bigny, Gnomish Beastmaster
  • Flit, the bat familiar
  • Clench, the Wardog War-Badger
  • Midnight, the Panther
  • Noona, the Lion
  • Faufe Yitaw, Dogwere (Badgerwere?)
    • Rawf, Wardog familiar
    • Aroof, Wardog familiar
  • Llarm Paphyra, Elvish Polydoctorate
    • The Metal Man, construct
• Caranthir, Human Leader of Men
  • Rhea Trueheart, Elvish Nightblade
  • Lucille "Luce" Burwood, Fighter
  • Elenora Garrard, White Mage
  • Gimli Trollriver, Dwarven Fury
• Gróin of Norston, Dwarven Sapper
  • Laurita Gomez, Priestess
  • Herman Thorpe, Ectomancer
    • Baelnar Grimtor, Dwarven Sapper
• Sorvald, Thief (As-yet-unnnamed), Thrassian Gladiator
  • Kurt Steinbacke, Dwarven Deep Monk
• Mor Gibs, the Wonderworker
• Craydos Silverskin, the Gold Skinscribe
  • Pentzkin Singletossle Pocketspringer, gnomish beastmaster
  • Alun Tsornyl, Sylph Ranger
• Te'a Tsuki Megumi, Elven Polydoctorate
  • Harvey Usagi, Rabbitwere
• Fayleen Ross, Darklord
  • Zai-car, Zaharan Ruinguard

Having defeated the dark force holding the tower at bay, and healing the magical vine at the center of the tower, the party exited. As they walked down the large stone steps, they could see vines had already wreathed the tower; as the last foot stepped off the building, there was a deep rumble, and the entire tower was dragged underground! In its place stood a tendril of the vine. The natives stared in shock, then immediately began bowing to the vine. Caranthir grumbled that it wasn't the vine that did all the work, but his comments were largely ignored.

By sheer happenstance, Winklestem Eustache Bottomwobbler, leading his goat Mabel, trudged onto the scene. With a cry of, "Look, Mabel, it's our best customers!" he set up shop, and immediately tried to pawn off his rapidly aging Neutral Water. Te'a and Fayleen were not enticed. They did, however, purchase a joke book, the King of Wands, and a wand of sentience. By way of testing the wands, they turned a wand sentient, and had the King of Wands command it to fire, which incidently used up its last charge. Te'a felt a little bad just discarding it, after that, and kept it around...

Things purchased, they teleported to Caranthir's kingdom, and spent an evening feasting - though Te'a and Harvey went on ahead to Slohaven, and started doing a little research on longevity. The party followed, and began selling off their immense treasure. After two weeks, they sold the lot. Sorvald, meanwhile, found the object of his dreams: the world's most perfect wheel of cheese. Knowing that no other wheel would ever be the same, he spent his entire fortune on the wheel. Its owner, a rather confused Thrassian, kept trying to make change for him, but was eventually convinced to take the whole pile of gold and various magical items. His dream fulfilled, Sorvald bid the party farewell. The Thrassian, realizing anyone with that much money must have quite the adventures - and looking for adventure himself - offered to take the thief's place, and the party agreed to bring him along.

Having a few spare moments on hand, they decided to find the last piece of Elric's equipment: his belt. They teleported to the desert, near where Gróin had envisioned it. They found two things: one, a ruin, with a single building in it, and two, a portal. To the Plane of Air.

In the Plane of Air (surely it's the Airplane? No, it isn't, and stop calling me Shirley), they met the Ying and Yang of the Gem Dragons, Diamond and Onyx. The two moved and spoke in perfect synchronicity; as guardians of the Plane of Air, they were happy to welcome humans and humanoids to their home plane. Various wind elementals, dragons, and other creatures of the air flew near and far; there was no land in sight, which was a little odd for a planet. The party asked where Elric's Earth Belt was; the dragons laughed, and pointed. "You are close, and yet far!"

Onyx pointed far into the distance - stars shimmered in the darkness, but the heavenly body he pointed to was no star, but a planet - the planet the party had just left! Diamond pointed to the portal, from which they had recently arrived. After some further chit-chat, the party returned through the portal, having now crossed that one off their list: they had visited the planes of Air, Water, Earth, and Fire. And had realized that the various planes were actually planets - or planet-like-places, anyway - in their solar system.

Back at the ruins, they met an elderly fellow, and managed to make him slightly more grumpy than he already was by making fun of people with number in their names. Septivus was... not amused. However, he lead them to the basement, where he offered a choice between three items: an item Gróin deduced to be a Sphere of Knowledge, a gold pin in the shape of the Seekers' Eye, and a compass, the symbol of the Instrumentalists. First, he chose the Sphere, which wasn't supposed to be there at all. Second, he chose the Eye, which made the Instrumentalist even more grumpy; he called in two further members, a mage the party had (briefly) met before, and an explorer named Nal McRandy. After much rule discussion, the mage rolled his eyes and left, and the cleric - a Humanist Cleric, granted divine power through his beliefs as a secular humanist - gave up on following the rather intricate regulations, and dumped the various items onto the table.

Along with the belt - which offered Gróin a vision of Elric struggling through a sandstorm, and being pelted with rocks, which he somehow managed to avoid, and showed the belt additionally provided immunity to knockback, along with earth-based damage - the party also was given an eye. A human eye, green, and apparently in perfect working order. Gróin quickly poked out his own eye (yuck) and inserted the new eye; after a moment, he felt he could now cast True Seeing once per day with the eye, and additionally could Sense Intentions and Sense Power, as the proficiencies. It was Ajeela's eye!

There were no encounters, nor treasure, this session, but the XP from selling goods is available:

• Caranthir, Gróin, and Sorvald receive 16040 XP, and 30086 gp
• Rig Bigny, Craydos, Fayleen, and Te'a Tsuki receive 13959 XP, and 25924 gp
• Elenora, Gimli, Laurita, Herman, Baelnar, and Kurt received 8021 XP, plus whatever their share of the treasure is.
• Pentzkin, Alun, Midnight, Noona, Harvey, and Zai-car each receive 6980 XP, plus their share of the treasure.

Additionally, starting XP is now: 137,669 XP.

Bog-Cheese

Ochdamh 25, 6639; next holiday is Beastnight, 9/35

The Party:

• Rig Bigny, Gnomish Beastmaster
  • Flit, the bat familiar
  • Clench, the Wardog War-Badger
  • Midnight, the Panther
  • Noona, the Lion
  • Faufe Yitaw, Dogwere (Badgerwere?)
    • Rawf, Wardog familiar
    • Aroof, Wardog familiar
  • Llarm Paphyra, Elvish Polydoctorate
    • The Metal Man, construct
• Caranthir, Human Leader of Men
  • Rhea Trueheart, Elvish Nightblade
  • Lucille "Luce" Burwood, Fighter
  • Elenora Garrard, White Mage
  • Gimli Trollriver, Dwarven Fury
• Gróin of Norston, Dwarven Sapper
  • Laurita Gomez, Priestess
  • Herman Thorpe, Ectomancer
    • Baelnar Grimtor, Dwarven Sapper
• Sorvald, Thief
  • Kurt Steinbacke, Dwarven Deep Monk
• Mor Gibs, the Wonderworker
• Craydos Silverskin, the Gold Skinscribe
  • Pentzkin Singletossle Pocketspringer, gnomish beastmaster
  • Alun Tsornyl, Sylph Ranger
• [insert-name-here], Elven Polydoctorate
  • Harvey, Wolfwere
• [bad-with-names], Darklord
  • [some-other-name], Venturer?

Realizing they were about the enter the final floor of the tower, the party stopped and retreated upstairs for a night's rest. Refreshed (though warned by the locals that something bad was coming), they headed back downstairs.

The final level of the tower smelled of damp and rot, and the sulfurous smell of swamp. They had barely gone a few feet into the passage when a voice echoed through the passages: "You... dare... intrude?"

Interestingly, each party member heard the voice in their own native tongue - some kind of magic, surely. They continued on, uncovering the maze surrounding the center, and occasionally hearing more echoed speech. First was a call: "Where... lies... my champion?" followed by a rush of wind, laden with the scent of decay. Then, "My children... come... to me...", and the sound of scrabbling sound and a cacophony of chirping and clicking. Finally, as they near the center (having toasted a couple green slimes), the voice roared, "Erklik... accept this blood sacrifice! ERKLIK!"

The voice receded, but continued to chant. Finally (after the thief and his henchdwarf fell into a pit), they reached the center of the tower, the lowest floor. Torches lined the walls; four pools of water surrounded a dark throne. Mist and magical darkness obscured the throne and its occupant. Six figures lined the walls, human with dark, almost black skin, standing at attention, looking... well, fairly normal, actually. And then combat started... the dark-skinned creatures, awoken by their master, writhed and flailed - bog bodies! The scent of decay was nearly overwhelming, and the poor cat-badgers choked on the overwhelming smell. Caranthir immediately began slashing at the bog-bodies, bringing down six before they could awaken; the others began slowly spreading out.

After a few seconds of fighting, the chanting... stopped. And eight ankhegs burst out of the ground, thought were quickly destroyed. And behind the party, a new mummy stepped out - the dead Thrassian from the day before! The priestess and ectomancer, working together, managed to turn the mummy. The other Thrassians fell before Rig's arrows and a few well-placed hits from the dominated lizardmen.

The battle seemed to be going pretty well, so far at least. Sorvald fired an arrow at the dark shape, but only managed to ricochet from the magical glass surrounding it. Gróin tried to damaged it with a blast of his trumpet, but only managed in damaging himself, and those around him! Caranthir and Gimli slashed at the strange roots dipping into the pools, but apart from damaging them, didn't manage to do much. Finally, Caranthir touched the glass with a Rod of Cancellation, and having drained its magical ability, slammed into it with as much force as his double-sized self could manage. The glass split, cracked across, then in a rapidly-shattering sheet, fell downwards into nothing but shards. The mist cleared (revealing that one of the four openings was, in fact, open), revealing the four carcass scavengers and four rust monsters held within! Caranthir blasted them, and the dark figure, with a double-breath, killing the monsters and... well, gently tickling the massive Thrassian Conduit Bog-Mummy-Lord. The mummy strode out, chopping into the Darklord's companion, and firing a curse at Caranthir (which missed).

This was the main threat. As he fired spells left and right, the Polydoctorate cast two spells: first, a death-ward spell on Caranthir, and second, "Jail", which slams a portcullis-cage onto the target. As the others blasted lightning, cones of cold, and the many earth-based spells of Gróin's party at him, the creature returned fire... and failed. First, his no-save-turn-directly-into-an-undead spell was rebuffed by the Death Ward; then, his other attempts at dishing out damage (or causing everyone to fall asleep) were thwarted. The only one that ever failed was the poor ectomancer, and even he managed to survive the sleep of death.

Even summoning swarms of insects didn't work; eventually, screaming hatred against the skinscribe in particular (he remember the skinscribe's uprising - he was there!), the dark mummy-lord was slain, and his corpse fell into a swarm of insects, which flew out of the chamber. The party quickly located, de-trapped, and smashed the canopic jars, and the mummy lord was no more. The last ankheg, hunted down and slain, revealed a network of tunnels underground, containing treasures; under the throne were even more treasures.

Last, but certainly not least, the vines on the throne were dunked in holy water, and eventually had Cure Disease cast on them; they writhed and healed, and almost immediately, the four stagnant pools cleared of the boggy water. A deep rumble sounded from the tower itself...

And that, folks, is how you use your spells in an intelligent manner and make what was going to be the second hardest fight of the yet-planned story into a walk in the park.

• Experience from encounters:
  • 2 green slimes (76)
  • 8 Ankhegs (4000)
  • 24 Bog bodies (1920)
  • 4 undead Thrassians (860)
  • 1 Mummy-thrassian (660)
  • 4 rust monsters (800)
  • 4 carcass scavengers (540)
  • 1 Ancient Thrassian Bog-Mummy Lord (9300)
• Experience from Treasure:
  • Cash (11,450 gp, 12 stone total):
    • 2,000 platinum pieces (10,000 gp, 2 st)
    • 1,000 gold pieces (1000 gp, 1 st)
    • 4,000 silver pieces (400 gp, 4 st)
    • 5,000 copper pieces (50 gp, 5 st)
  • Gems (1.333 stone):
    • 2 diamonds (1,000 gp each)
    • 1 jacinth (4,000 gp)
    • 1 ruby (8,000 gp)
    • 1 ivory jewelry (900 gp)
    • 2 moonstone jewelry (2,000 gp each)
    • 2 gold statuettes (1000 gp each
  • Everything else (42.287 st):
    • 26 jade carvings of dark gods, each worth 200gp (5200 gp, 4.333 st)
    • 1 rich fur coat (2,000gp, 1 st)
    • 16 rugs of large common fur (panther) (1st/150gp, 90 gp each) (1440 gp, 9.504 st)
    • 3 rolls of silk (400gp, 4st each) (1200 gp, 12 st)
    • 12 sticks of rare incense (1 st/100 sticks, 17 gp each) (204 gp, 0.12 st)
    • 3 jars of dyes and pigments (50gp, 5st each) (150 gp, 15 st)
    • 2 sets of superior thieves tools, worth 200gp (1 item) (200 gp, 0.1667 st)
    • 1 vials of rare perfume (1 item each, 125 gp each) (125 gp, 0.1667 st)
• Total experience (before selling): 29,606 XP
• Total experience (after selling): 181,469 XP
• XP for PCs: 2277
• XP for henches (everyone but Luce and Rhea): 1139

• Magic items on the Thrassian Conduit:
  • Lifedrinker, a dark, twisted sword (evil, but not cursed; lore says is drains health and gives it to the wielder)
  • Earthbreaker, a Hammer +3 that grants resistance to Earth magic (-1 damage per die, +2 to saves)
  • The Soulstaff (which, if lore is correct, can speak with dead once per hour, as the spell)
  • A tarnished silver coin, currency of Ancient Zahara
  • Plate armor, Thrassian-sized
• Elsewhere (the throne, the ankhegs, and the ankhegs' nests):
  • A ring
  • A very oddly-jointed club (+3 after testing)
  • Two bags
  • Two swords (+1, after testing)
  • A potion
  • A Scroll of Divine Spells (Written in Dwarven): Command Word (1st lvl)
  • A Scroll of Arcane Spells (Written in Dwarven): Resist Electricity (lvl 2), Trance (lvl 1)
  • A lumpy rock

Life's the Pits

Ochdamh 24, 6639; next holiday is Beastnight, 9/35

The Party:

• Rig Bigny, Gnomish Beastmaster
  • Flit, the bat familiar
  • Clench, the Wardog War-Badger
  • Midnight, the Panther
  • Noona, the Lion
  • Faufe Yitaw, Dogwere (Badgerwere?)
    • Rawf, Wardog familiar
    • Aroof, Wardog familiar
  • Llarm Paphyra, Elvish Polydoctorate
    • The Metal Man, construct
• Caranthir, Human Leader of Men
  • Rhea Trueheart, Elvish Nightblade
  • Lucille "Luce" Burwood, Fighter
  • Elenora Garrard, White Mage
  • Gimli Trollriver, Dwarven Fury
• Gróin of Norston, Dwarven Sapper
  • Laurita Gomez, Priestess
  • Herman Thorpe, Ectomancer
    • Baelnar Grimtor, Dwarven Sapper
• Sorvald, Thief
  • Kurt Steinbacke, Dwarven Deep Monk
• Mor Gibs, the Wonderworker
• Craydos Silverskin, the Gold Skinscribe
  • Pentzkin Singletossle Pocketspringer, gnomish beastmaster
  • Alun Tsornyl, Sylph Ranger
• [insert-name-here], Elven Polydoctorate
  • [I-forgot-I'm-so-sorry], Wolfwere
• [bad-with-names], Darklord
  • [some-other-name], Venturer?

While Caranthir, Gróin, and Sorvald (and friends) began their trek into the Jungle Tower, Craydette (sorry, I keep forgetting to write down your new name) dropped in on the, er, seamstresses' guild, to learn about being a woman. No, not like that, just... nevermind. After that, she set off to find the rest of her party. Additionally, some new members passed by, but kept to their mounts - and I'd tell you their names and so forth, but I forgot to write them down. I'll update this later once I figure it out...

And that's not all! Rig Bigny headed out as well, with his pet badger-cats! As the parties converged, they managed to all find their way to the tower, just as a thin figure climbed out. The darklord quickly dominated the creature, and in the morning, the ratman lead them into the tower, eventually uniting the lot of them. Whew! GM fiat aside, they were ready to go deeper...

On the stone throne of the troglodyte King, the newest additions to the party noticed some scratchings - a verbal description of the lower levels! Just below them, the 7th level was full of traps... Sorvald lead the group through the area, only managing to get himself thumped on the head once. By a single brick. What can I say, the trap was really old...

Turning a corner, however, he, Kurt, and Alun found themselves face-to-face with a rather large grasshopper, who immediately vomited a thick stream of brown goo onto the poor Fae, then leapt away, managing to get out of sight with only a single hit-point to its name. Alun, after spending several minutes cleaning himself, caught up with the party, and they continued.

Apart from glowing moss (which was rather slick), there wasn't a lot going on here; just some food stores. The 8th level, however, was "full of scary black things," and avoided by the troglodytes. The party found a strange, yellow-brown moss, dry and stringy, unlike the wet glowing moss. A little poking around, and they managed to activate it - yellow mold! Thankfully, no one inhaled it, and they left it alone after that. They did, however, manage to get a potion or two, hidden around the area.

In the larger room, they encountered the spiders, as well as a sharktipede - er, sorry, a Skittering Maw - and fought them handily. They also encountered a trio of carcass scavengers, who's nest poor Craydette had the misfortune of mistaking for a spider's nest, and nearly got eaten for her troubles.

Down a level to 9, they found a room full of holes, tilting traps, and cloth-covered pit-traps. Sorvald, with his perfect night vision, lead everyone through safely, marking the traps for later memory. He spotted something hiding in a corner - a staff, with what looked like a curved beak. It was the Staff of Stork’s Blessing, which removes 1d6 hp from the wielder, and gives that to everyone within five feet (that is, adjacent)!

Moving the staff, however, awoke whatever dark creatures were hiding in the pits, and soon, a horde of lizardmen and Greater Thrassians ascended! And, after a shout of command, bowed their heads to the Darklord, in her service. The battle was bloody, but fast; the lizardmen wavered, as did the greater Thrassians, under the rule of their own lord, an ancient, enormous Thrassian, one of the few survivors of the Zaharan purge. Well, survivor no longer...

With the way clear, the party is ready to venture deeper, to the lowest level of the tower, buried for centuries!

• Experience from Encounters:
  • 1 Skittering Maw (1600)
  • 7 Black Widow spiders (4 killed, 3 escaped: 320)
  • 3 Carcass Scavengers (405)
  • 15 lizardmen (dominated or killed: 525)
  • 6 Greater Thrassians (dominated or killed: 840)
  • 1 Thrassian Overlord (2500)
• Experience from treasure: (none, only magical items)
• Experience for each PC (Rig, Caranthir, Gróin, Sorvald, Craydette, ?Darklord, ?Polydoctorate): 495
• Experience for each Henchbeing (Noona, Midnight, Gimli, Lucille, Laurita, Herman, Baelnar, Kurt, Alun, ?Venturer, ?Wolfwere): 248

Additionally, there were some various potions picked up, plus the Staff of Stork's Blessing, and a strange, magical, iron crown...

Agents of SHIELD... Breaking.

Ochdamh 21-22, 6639; next holiday is Beastnight, 9/35

The Party:

• Rig Bigny, Gnomish Beastmaster
  • Flit, the bat familiar
  • Clench, the Wardog War-Badger
  • Midnight, the Panther
  • Noona, the Lion
  • Faufe Yitaw, Dogwere (Badgerwere?)
    • Rawf, Wardog familiar
    • Aroof, Wardog familiar
  • Llarm Paphyra, Elvish Polydoctorate
    • The Metal Man, construct
• Caranthir, Human Leader of Men
  • Rhea Trueheart, Elvish Nightblade
  • Lucille "Luce" Burwood, Fighter
  • Elenora Garrard, White Mage
  • Gimli Trollriver, Dwarven Fury
• Gróin of Norston, Dwarven Sapper
  • Laurita Gomez, Priestess
  • Herman Thorpe, Ectomancer
    • Baelnar Grimtor, Dwarven Sapper
• Quetgar, Thrassian Assassin
  • Zarc, Thrassian Gladiator
• Sorvald, Thief
  • Kurt Steinbacke, Dwarven Deep Monk
• Mor Gibs, the Wonderworker
• Craydos Silverskin, the Gold Skinscribe
  • Pentzkin Singletossle Pocketspringer, gnomish beastmaster
  • Alun Tsornyl, Sylph Ranger

On a roll with the scale-destroying business, the party decided to next go to Mareten, and see the king about his shield. After teleporting to the gate, passing through, then teleporting to Slowhaven, the party waited until they could receive an audience with the ruler of Mareten.

After a bit of negotiation, Caranthir was able to convince the king that they had, indeed destroyed the scales, and were intent on finishing their quest. They king's spies had already reported on the other scales' destruction (though he hadn't yet heard of the Scale of Darkness being destroyed), and the truthful verification put him at ease. He recommended the party meet him later that evening to discuss the particulars. After a bit of shopping, the party returned to the address indicated, and found themselves in the king's private entertainment chamber. After a light supper, the king got down to business: he would provide a champion and equip him with the shield, if the party would face him and defeat him in one-on-one combat. Caranthir agreed.

In the morning, Caranthir arrived at the battle, buffed and blessed; the fighter he was to face stomped out, raising the white shield to cheers from the crowd. The enormous man charged forward, slamming into Caranthir; Caranthir returned the blow, but both fell short, their swords parried away. Strike after strike fell, and neither was even winded. One of the opponent's blows finally made its way past Caranthir's armor, and Caranthir was forced back from the strength behind it! Enraged, Caranthir shift into dragonform, and blasted the fighter with his breath, then again, and a third time. The fighter was visibly faltering from the blasts, but doggedly kept swinging his sword, connecting a second time. Finally, Caranthir found a chink in the big man's armor, and tore out his chest.

The party turned to the shield... which remained whole and unblemished. Confused, they turned to the king. The man beside him was visibly pale; as the king slapped him on the shoulder, he flinched, the remaining color draining from his face. "Your champion lost, sir Mayor. And now you must keep up your end of the bargain..."

In a moment, the mayor, clutching a very similar shield, was thrust into the arena. Caranthir leaped forward, and in a moment, the mayor was dead - as was his warlock's familiar! The shield in his hands cracked down the face, then blasted into tiny slivers of shining glitter, before vanishing entirely. Caranthir bowed as the king thanked him for ridding his kingdom of a malicious plotter...

After the fun with the shield, the party decided to move on to the Jungle Tower, hoping to gain some strength before facing the final scales...

They teleported out immediately, arriving as another group was finishing performing sacrifices. After some chatting, they found the secret opening again, and began their descent into the tower. The first floor was filled with swarms of flies; Kurt managed to kill a few, but Caranthir slashed through six in a single blast. The rest fell quickly, and no one was harmed. They found a little treasure, and moved on. In the next level, they did not quite disarm a trap, and ended up watching two very large gems get crushed under a pile of rocks. Oops. They killed a few crab spiders to make up for it. Gróin was knocked over by a swarm of rats, but managed to splatter most of them, burning the last few. Realizing the Caranthir had not yet stopped to rest, the party immediately decided that this was the best place to stop for the night, and (after sweeping away the rat guts, I would immagine), set up camp for the night.

• Experience from encounters:
  • lvl 9 fighter, Breaker (3100)
  • lvl 10 warlock, Mayor Eustace Molebeak (3650)
  • Shield of Armies (5000)
  • 15 giant flies (300)
  • 4 crab spiders (152)
  • 4hd rat swarm (135)
• Experience from Treasure:
  • 4 statuettes of superior quality (280 gp, 0.6668 st)
  • 11 bone fetishes and figurines (7 gp each) (77 gp, 1.8337 st)
  • 4 sets of engraved teeth (1 item each, 70 gp each) (280 gp, 0.6668 st)
  • 1 set of superior thieves tools, worth 200gp (1 item) (200 gp, 0.1667 st)
  • 837 gp, 3.3335 st
  • 1 emerald (2500)
• Total gp when sold: 3267
• Total gp now for Caranthir, Gróin, and Sorvald: 279gp
• Total XP now: 128740
• XP for Caranthir, Gróin, and Sorvald: 2146
• XP for Ellenora, Gimli, Laurita, Herman, Baelnar, and Kurt: 1073

I'll keep track of what items haven't been sold, and where the XP goes, and will insert that once you do sell it off (do tell me if there's an item you don't want to sell!). As a final item of note, Craydos's tower has finally been completed as of 8/22, and his recruits are ready to begin their studies.

The Pointless Tower: Death of a God

Dara 13-15; next holiday, Darkest Day, Dara 35.

The Party:

• Rig Bigny, Gnomish Beastmaster
  • Flit, the bat familiar
  • Clench, the Wardog War-Badger
  • Midnight, the Panther
  • Noona, the Lion
  • Faufe Yitaw, Dogwere (Badgerwere?)
    • Rawf, Wardog familiar
    • Aroof, Wardog familiar
  • Llarm Paphyra, Elvish Polydoctorate
    • The Metal Man, construct
• Caranthir, Human Leader of Men
  • Rhea Trueheart, Elvish Nightblade
  • Lucille "Luce" Burwood, Fighter
  • Elenora Garrard, White Mage
  • Gimli Trollriver, Dwarven Fury
• Gróin of Norston, Dwarven Sapper
  • Laurita Gomez, Priestess
• Quetgar, Thrassian Assassin
  • Zarc, Thrassian Gladiator
• Sorvald, Thief
• Mor Gibs, the Wonderworker

Last we left them, the party was on the third level - a swampland. They explored a bit, and dealt with a Kelpie (a horse-like water creature). Then, they ran into nine lizardmen, camped on one of the larger islands. Quetgar was welcomed with open arms, and the rest of the party by association. Quetgar (and the others that spoke Thrassian) knew one thing for certain: these lizardmen were redneck! Their accent had such a twang in it, banjos were unnecessary. They spat into the swamp, had a boat up on blocks in their front yard, drank gray liquid-analogue they called "Swampshine" from a jug, and called each other the Thrassian equivalent of Jimmy-Bob, Mary-Beth, and Bubba. They even brought out instruments and gave a rousing performance of "Mama done raised me good" and "Muh Boat Sank When I Ran Over Muh Pet Gator," which Quetgar was kind enough not to translate. Quetgar thought it was real down home, while everyone else just tried not to lose their lunch when Mama grinned. Mama... was not a looker.

In friendly territory, the group decided to rest; Gróin built a wooden hut, and they slept in relative peace. The next... well, morning is a strong word; the light never really changed much from "darkish" to "grayish". After some friendly warnings, they left the lizardmen to continue on.

Past the lizardmen camp was the old lizardmen camp, complete with sunken boats, followed by a marshy dam. A few of the group picked up leeches, and had to smash the ugly things. A cloud of Stirge ("Skeeters") on the following island were dealt with handily by Caranthir's freezing breath. However, the black pudding that slithered out of the water was much harder to deal with. Caranthir ferried everyone to the next island as Gróin and his priestess burned the slimy thing to dust.

The next island had a large hut on it, and inside the hut were six Greater Thrassians and a Hag. After some negotiations, they began a pitched battle, which (of course) resulted in the deaths of the lizardmen and hag. The building cleared, they continued across a flat bridge to the final island. As the last of them crossed, the bridge was pulled back, and sank into the swamp...

A man leaned against a boat, smoking a long pipe; an elf, in fact. As he applauded, Caranthir (in Draconic) addressed him. The elf responded with a formal greeting, and greeted each of the party in turn, in their own native language. "You fight well! And hardly a smudge on the lot of you - well, at least the dwarf. The rest of you may need a bit of a shower!"

And with those words, a breeze kicked up, and tepid water rained down from the nearby trees, drenching them. The elf nearly fell over laughing. Finally, wiping a tear from his eye, he sighed. "Ah, but you've come to hear my story, no doubt. I am Manannán, Trickster God of the Elves and Gnomes," he said with a bow. "Loki, a rapscallion if ever I know one, hurled an uncouth creature into my realm. It seemed to keep to itself, but finally, I realized the Fair Folk had all but vanished from the swamps. I cursed the day I let the creature live, but in the time I lay idle, it grew stronger. I doubted I could best it in single combat, so I offered it a deal. It had eaten or driven off most of my followers here, so I suggested it find a greater host, and sent it east, to the towns of men. They like killing things over there, I'm sure it all worked out just fine."

For a moment, the trickster looked almost sad. "I know it spread wrath and ruin, for that is what it spread here, but I was not strong enough, and though I raised an army of the fallen, something tells me it would have turned them against me. Oh, which reminds me, there was supposed to be some sort of battle! Hold on a moment."

Green mists flowed across the bog, as a form stepped out of the swampy water... it was draped in kelp and swamp-weeds, though its form was familiar - a Mummy! A... swamp mummy? Laurita Gomez stepped forward, brandishing her holy item, and yelled, "Begone!" as holy light flowed from her grasp. The mummy raised its arms to shield itself from the light, and slowly sank back into the mire from which it came.

Manannán cheered. "Thank goodness that's over with. Well, I'm off!" He flipped his boat over, climbed into it, and sailed into the mists, leaving behind a small stoppered vial of faintly-glowing red liquid. One of the trees bent into a staircase, and so the party climbed...

The top of the stair was stone; after exiting some sort of entry area, the party came upon the withered husk of a great copper dragon, pressed against a wall, its head covered by its decaying claws. Its hide was covered in crude, cruel, and inflammatory words of a very anti-dragon nature. Even non-dragons found the words offensive, and Caranthir was incensed. Gróin, at Caranthir's insistence, Spoke with Dead. The dragon's voice issued forth immediately, groaning and crying out. Caranthir asked, "What happened to you?" and the creature answered, "Killed, by the great darkness!" Caranthir asked, "Do you want to be resurrected?" and the dragon's corpse actually shuddered. The party could hear the bones shaking and the creature's voicebox tearing as it screamed, "NO NO NO NO NO NO!!" over and over again. Finally, Caranthir asked if the creature that killed it could be defeated, and it answered, "No, flee, FLEE!"

A little unsettled by what could make a venerable dragon terrified, even after death, the party continued on. The passage to the right seemed to be blocked off with towering green crystals that ran ceiling to floor; a small alcove contained a few copper coins, and a single lightning-bolt shaped wand. In the passage to the left, a few heard a dripping sound, but couldn't place the source. They found a blocked door in a chamber, and Caranthir immediately removed the board blocked it. Then, realizing how that could go terribly wrong, he quickly replaced it. Looking through the wood, he saw only stone behind it. Whew.

Next was a stairwell; the Fury, Gimli, was sent to explore, but came back in a moment - it was blocked at the bottom. Then came a room, with a stone golem with green eyes inside... and a forcefield of some kind, blocking the path. The golem was quickly dealt with, and the forcefield dropped as the golem's eyes shattered. Then, a fighter, who was quickly killed; the shield he was holding broke into dust, and the next forcefield dropped. However, a few seconds later, the man's body rose again as a zombie!

Finishing off the creature a second time, the party continued on. In the third room was... darkness. After contemplating how to find what was in the room, Gróin cast Continual Light... which cancelled out the Continual Darkness spell. The room was otherwise empty. The fourth room contained nothing but a single, small cube - a cube of force! Quetgar happily picked it up, but as soon as the cube reached the doorway, it shattered. The fifth room contained a staff, and as soon as the party entered the room, they felt themselves become the target of a Bane curse. Oddly, there was no more forcefield; the party looked at the next room, which contained great gears behind thick glass, and a single steel pole, with wires running to the wall. The last room's door was filled with a dazzling disintegration field. It was impassable, even with a protection spell, as there was a stone wall just behind it.

Gibs fired the wand at the metal pole, and lightning arced to the tip. Lights flickered, and the gears began to move.

Just beyond the seven rooms was another stairway, blocked again; another set of massive doors, and leading into (presumably) the inner room, a pair of doors with seven runes. Yet another blocked stairway, then several rooms that were empty, or filled with... strange things. One held a man, eating the rotting corpses from a pile of bodies; another held four men, who stared at the group with empty eyes, then attacked. The four men, once slain, rose again as zombies. The eating man, Caranthir slew, and he rasped, "Thank you..." as he died.

Finally, they returned to the last two puzzles. Gróin, remarking that perhaps the room was a puzzle like the light/dark room, cast Bless; the staff cracked in two, and the Bane curse was lifted. And, with that, the final puzzle finished itself; the disintegration field vanished, and the stone door behind it slid into the wall, leaving only some musty old books of little value. Likewise, the final two runes on the door went out, and it was easily pushed open.

Looking into the main room, the party finally realized what this building was - a cathedral! The main chapel was filled with broken things - broken pews, broken glass, and broken people. Bones are strew across the floor. At the center of the floor, a sunken depression was filled with dark blood. At the end of the room was a large altar, and a man, slumped over it, his hands hanging down as blood dripped off his fingers. His eyes were wide and unblinking. As the party entered, he suddenly jerked upright like a marionette on a string, burst into an impossibly loud laugh, and began to babble, "He told me... He promised me... power! Wealth! Wine, women, and song! HAHAHA! But he lied Lied LIED! TRICKERY! Foolish mortal, FOOLISH MORTAL! Death, death, and blood on my hands," as he looked down at them. "I lead them, I brought them, I called them and they came, and death, DEATH is what they have now! And I have naught but ETERNAL TORMENT! Power, oh yes, wealth, certainly, but CURSED I am to live here! ETERNAL SUFFERING! And you," he cried, pointing at the party, each member in turn, "You come here, for power, for wealth, but at what COST!"

He looked towards the sky, pointing up, and screamed, "I bring no more sacrifices!" then at the party, "FLEE, OR FACE ETERNAL TORMENT!"

And with that, he fired a lightning bolt from his hand. The others attacked, quickly killing him, as he slapped ineffectually against their armor. He dropped a fireball, then was brought down. He body quickly burst into flame, and was burned to ash... then rose again, stepping out of the blood in the middle of the floor! The others quickly fired all they had at him, as he fired fireballs at them (even after he had been hit!). Gróin cast Bless on the altar as Rig tossed Holy Water onto it. The man suddenly dropped to his knees, sobbing, as the power of the altar lessened its hold on him. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry... please... I'm so sorry," he cried, his tears mixing with the blood pooling around him. Gróin, realizing what that may mean, nodded toward him, and Laurita stepped forward. She prayed, and with her hand on his head, asked if he was truly repentant; the man nodded, miserably. She intoned a spell of forgiveness - Atonement - and immediately, the blood from the pool flowed away from him. He stood, a new light in his eyes... and then immediately flash-burned to ash.

The other explored, finding two rooms filled with gold , gems, and magical treasure. Gróin and the others scooped up the magical stuff, and sent Gimli to see what was in the third room. He returned, nonplussed, and mentioned that it was wet, and there was some scroll hanging on the wall.

Rig, Caranthir, Rhea, Elenora, Gróin, Laurita, and Quetgar crowded into the small room. Quetgar felt a drip of something cold hit his cheek (and, oddly, felt himself heal slightly). He looked up... and froze. Above them was a man, a young man, dressed in simple garb, wearing winged shoes, with an oak staff strapped to his arm. Hooks embedded in his flesh held him to the ceiling, as pinkish blood dripped from the hole in his chest where his heart used to be. It was his blood that was feeding the altar. And not just any blood. The blood of a god. This, then, was the Neutral god of Mareten, Viatoremus, the god of tricks, travelling, and treasure. What's more... that meant that the party was, at that moment, standing where someone had killed a god. This was once the neutral god of what is arguably the most powerful trio of gods in Mor-Thir, and he is dead. Not temporarily vanquished, not banished, not returned to the eternal plane, but DEAD. The party made a collective fear check at -20 and, of course, failed horribly.

Once they collected themselves, Caranthir realized what the vials contained - blood, from each of the gods (yes, Loki claimed it was his tears, but he's a trickster, what do you expect?). He had the party dump the vials into the flowing blood, and a moment later, they heard a CRACK as the altar split in two. Suddenly, the oppressive atmosphere was gone.

Caranthir saw the scroll Gimli had mentioned, and looked over it... and with that, he felt the compulsion to read it:

The Prophecy is Read, and woe to he, whose lips its foul words cross
But harken still, despite evil chill, for these words may stem your loss.
The Spirit of Doom to Mor-Thir comes, full power does it possess
In the scales of lore, it's power restored, no end in sight... unless...

The Protector of Hills defeated must fall, the Shield's bearer must die
The Revoker of Darkness must be bathed in light, and down the Weightless must fly
The Bringer of Undeath need be Blessed,
    and the Gatherer meet equal force
'Til alone at the end, the Cleanser will fail,
    and our warriors return to the Source

He continued reading, but the dark words that followed, no one understood. His lips began to blacked, and suddenly, he found himself, and the party, standing in the Street of the Gods.

Meanwhile... Midnight, Noona, Gimli, and Gibs were left staring at the treasure. Gimli and Gibs grabbed a bunch of gems and jewelry, then headed into the third room. As Gibs realized, and dealt with, the fact that he was standing in a room where a god had been killed... Gimli stole the god's shoes. And, in attempting to grab his staff, pulled the god from his hooks, and onto the floor. Placing his foot in the god's armpit, Gimli gave a good yank on the staff, and released it from its bindings. Gibs stared, open-mouthed. Gimli then pulled the scroll from the wall, and in turning it over, started to read it, with the same effect. Soon, Midnight, Noona, Gibs, and the confused Gimli were standing on the Street of the Gods as well. They turned to see the building behind them - the final building on the Chaotic end of the Street. It fell inward on itself, falling to dust, and leaving naught but a blackened slab.

Realizing this could be a bad place to stay, the party quickly left the Street, and found an expensive (and secure) inn to rest at. Along the way, they kept catching glances of red, black, and blue faces staring at them out of lampposts, or an elf with a long pipe winking at them, or a man dressed in a green-and-gold suit doffing his hat to them. Finally, they were able to rest. Quetgar stacked all the room's contents against the door, and slept fully dressed; Caranthir dumped all his treasure out on the floor, and slept on top of it.

Unfortunately, the treasure (at least half a million in gold, even platinum) was gone; scrying on it only showed foul creatures and horrible landscapes. Luckily, Gimli and Gibs managed to rescue a fair amount of stuff...

• XP from Encounters: 22,686
  • 1 Kelpie (65)
  • 4 Leech, Giant (2280)
  • 8 Stirge (104)
  • 1 Black pudding (1,550)
  • 6 Lizardman, Greater (840)
  • 1 Hag (3100)
  • 1 Mummy Lord (4200)
  • 1 stone golem (3900)
  • 1 lvl 14 fighter (3800)
  • 5 zombies (133)
  • 4 cursed fighters (104)
  • 1 cursed eater (10)
  • 1 cursed, powered man (2600)
• XP from Treasure (once sold): 85,550
  • 36 jade carvings gods (7,200 gp)
  • 3 amethyst cylinder seals depicting religious scenes (3,600 gp)
  • 2 alexandrite (1,000 gp)
  • 1 sunset amethyst (750 gp)
  • 1 opal regalia (1,000 gp)
  • 1 diamond (1,000 gp)
  • 1 baroque pearl (2,000 gp)
  • 1 Black pearl (2,000 gp)
  • 1 amber regalia (2,000 gp)
  • 1 opal regalia (4,000 gp)
  • 2 flawless diamond (8,000 gp)
  • 1 amber regalia (7,000 gp)
  • 1 ruby regalia (7,000 gp)
  • 1 emerald (8,000 gp)
  • 5 platinum reliquaries with crystal panes (22,000gp)
  • 1 Gold studded with topaz regalia (9,000 gp)
• Total XP: 108236
• XP per PC: 13530
• XP per Henchbeing: 6765

Oh right, magical treasure! The party collected: 10 Potions, a Scroll of Ward against Elementals, a Scroll of Ward against Lycanthropes, a Scroll of Ward against Undead, 6 other scrolls, 3 Treasure Maps, 5 Rings, 1 Rod, 2 Staffs, 3 Wands, a Cube, a pair of Boots, a Cloak, a Helm, a Barrel, a Necklace, 4 Swords, 1 Sling, 1 Spear, 1 Axe, 1 Leather Armor, 2 Plate Armor, 2 Shields, 6 Arrows, 7 Crossbow Bolts, and a second set of 4 Crossbow Bolts. Oh, and a staff and a set of shoes from a god. You know, the usual.

The Pointless Tower: Not Very Towerlike

Dara 13; next holiday, Darkest Day, Dara 35.

The Party:

• Rig Bigny, Gnomish Beastmaster
  • Flit, the bat familiar
  • Clench, the Wardog War-Badger
  • Midnight, the Panther
  • Noona, the Lion
  • Faufe Yitaw, Dogwere (Badgerwere?)
    • Rawf, Wardog familiar
    • Aroof, Wardog familiar
  • Llarm Paphyra, Elvish Polydoctorate
    • The Metal Man, construct
• Caranthir, Human Leader of Men
  • Rhea Trueheart, Elvish Nightblade
  • Lucille "Luce" Burwood, Fighter
  • Elenora Garrard, White Mage
  • Gimli Trollriver, Dwarven Fury
• Gróin of Norston, Dwarven Sapper
  • Laurita Gomez, Priestess
• Quetgar, Thrassian Assassin
  • Zarc, Thrassian Gladiator
• Sorvald, Thief
• Mor Gibs, the Wonderworker

The party was lead by the Winter Princess to the secret opening of the Pointless Tower...

Legend has it that a man wanted to open what was then the Wild Tower; knowing great riches existed within, he figured it was a safe bet to make a deal with the Fae (or, possibly, the Gnomes). With their assistance, he indeed gained access to the tower. However, something went wrong; the Gnomes (or was it the Fae?) betrayed him, and locked him inside the tower, enchanting it so no one could rescue him. It is his laughter and screams you can hear, carried on the breeze, at the top of the tower.

As the Princess opened the magically hidden door, the party stepped into the hallway. In a moment, they were staring into a strange forest; they could see the forest stretching out in front of them, and could easily make out the trails and meadows within. Behind them, however, the door they walked through was nothing but a stone wall...

Sheltered under a stand of trees was a plaque, moss growing in the letters; or... perhaps making up the letters? The sign seemed to be discernable in any language, and read: "Before you lies tainted ground, tread by the Spirit, the Dark Soul, the Betrayer. Enter at your peril, for there is no return until the prophecy has been read."

The party started down the left path, heading into an area filled with dead ends. Investigating each dead end resulted in finding some mundane armor, cleaned and repaired; a Treant named Brushbeard, who seemed very confused; and Cla and his three friends (family, actually), all kindly brownies. Neither Brushbeard nor Cla were able to shed much light on the forest, though they both mentioned that it was not what it appeared.

Around a corner - warned by the brownies - they found a patch of stinging nettles. Rig attempted to investigate, and caught a slightly painful blast of nettles to the face! One potion of Command Plant later, and the path was cleared. Not long afterward, four dire wolves felt the sting of the party's blades (and claws, and teeth...). The party emerged into a glade, where four pools of water, surrounded by moss and clover, bubbled gently. Gróin, suspicious, walked up to poke the pond, and was rewarded with an explosion of movement - the clover reached up, bundles of tendrils tearing and pulling at him! He jumped back, and the others joined him in beating the strange pond-monsters back to dust. When the last one curled up dead, the brush to the right unfolded, revealing a wide plain. More brush moved, and the third meadow was revealed - and battle was once again joined! Three Arane began by trying to capture the party, as Spellwoods began creating grassy monsters!

By sheer luck, the third, more powerful Arane was interrupted in her spellcasting. As the spiders were dealt with, so were the feral trees, and soon the area was again quiet. The party explored the third branch, and eventually returned to follow the newest opening, to the south. After walking in relative peace, they came upon a great pond. Caranthir, in dragon form, began flying across it, but realized his reflection was laughing at him! The reflection grew and grew, until his eye filled the entire pond, which then bubbled up into an enormous mound... and began to shrink, and shrink, until it was small, and round, and plopped into the face of a strange creature rolling on the ground laughing.

Coyote, property of Gunnerkrigg Court by Tom Siddell

The creature, its tongue lolling out of its mouth as it laughed uproariously, crowed, "Oh ho! Hoo hoo! Ahhhahaha! Fooled! Oh dear! Oh my! Such foolish mortals!"

Finally, he finished laughing, and challenged one of the party to a fight. "Oh! Oh yes! A battle! Hooray! It's been so long since anyone fought me! Let me see... I shall be a tree! With rocks for teeth! And the rivers of the world will be my blood!"

Caranthir, sighing, prepared to face the strange animal... until he suddenly found himself staring up, a small, fluffy, dragon-tailed kitten! The being once again collapsed into a writhing puddle of giggles and guffaws, much to Caranthir's irritation. The animal laughed so hard, his mouth opening so wide, he suddenly flipped inside out! Luckily, the inside seemed to be about the same as the outside. He spit out his eyes, replaced them in his face, and winked. "Storytime! About me, of course."

He began his tale: "One lovely century, I was strolling through my woods - they're all mine, you know - and I saw a nasty spirit thing. He was happy to see me - everyone is happy to see me, of course - and asked if I wanted to become overwhelmingly wealthy and powerful. How I laughed! I already own all the gold in the world. I keep it in other people's pockets! And the trees are my bones, and the stones my teeth! What other power is there? Well, he was very upset with me. He hissed and shouted, but I just winked at him, because I was the moon."

Thoughtfully, he added, "I'm always the moon, of course."

"But he wanted to stay in my woods, and he was eating all my children, so I barked at him. He grew angry, so I picked him up and put him on a mountain, but then he was too big, so I had to travel there myself and make sure he was the right size. Oh! But let me tell you about the time I was a dead goose! No? Some other time, then! Oh, but before you go, I have a gift for you!"

He tossed a small flask onto the ground. The liquid within is black, red, blue, and white, much as the Coyote (for, indeed, that is who he was - the trickster god of the forests!) is; shaking the fluid causes the colors to swirl, but never mix. It's vaguely unsettling, and the party had the strangest feeling they were being taken advantage of, but abandoning their gift seemed... imprudent. Coyote bowed, motioning to the twisting staircase.

As the party climbed, the sky turned to walls, then to stone, and finally, to the top of a mountain! They could see a few nearby peaks, and a twisting set of stairs leading peak to peak. They could see a few problems, not the least of which was a crowd of four stone giants, nudging each other and hefting huge stones. Caranthir tested to see if he could fly over the chasms - no such luck. A powerful downdraft threatened to suck him into the void below. The party was forced to cross carefully, avoiding the thrown rocks. Of course, it's always nice to have a sapper along; each broken path and rickety plank was replaced with a sturdy wooden tunnel-bridge, much to the annoyance of the giants. After quickly tearing through a series of gargoyles, the party reached a safe spot. Only one giant managed to hit anyone before Caranthir reached them; his armored hide blocked many of their blows, but a few got through. Finally, the giants were dead.

Past the giants, the party were surprised by two huge, grey-skinned worms, which they defeated handily. The two stone giants they faced met a similar fate, though they were much harder to hit, with their powerful stone skin.

Winding around the mountain, the party finally crested the top, to find a man seated on a golden throne. The man tossed the chalice of wine he was drinking over the edge, and greeted them with open arms. "Friends! I thought you'd never make it! After my dear friend, that old deceiver Coyote, told me you were on your way, I was simply delighted! Why, I've even prepared a welcome gift for you!"

And with that, he suddenly turned into a very large giant. A frost giant, of course. The party attacked quickly, and though Loki cheated once or twice, they eventually brought him down. When defeated, Loki changed back into the form of a man, laughing. "Such fun! Oh, your faces! If only you could see them - you look like this!"

His face changes into a row of faces, perfect duplicates of each of the party's, except each face has crossed eyes, its tongue stuck out, or some other goofy expression of fear. "Ah, but perhaps you'd like to hear my part of the tale! As I'm sure Coyote told you, a dark creature attempted to live in his woods, and he most graciously carried the hideous thing here. The creature offered me a deal - power, wealth, anything I'd like, in return for my assistance, and the ability to live in these lands. I, of course, refused; I needed my followers, and he seemed intent on eating them. We fought, and thankful was I that he had little time to rest since Coyote brought him; the battle was difficult, even for one such as myself. I'll tell you, by the time we were through, I was quite Thor!"

"I booted the foul thing from my mountains, into... into... into the lands of the elves!" Loki guffaws, unable to continue. "Oh! Their faces! Such a terror! Oh, me!" With a wink, he tosses a small vial to you. It contains a glistening liquid. Loki bows, and announces, "My tears! I have only cried thrice, so those tears are certainly worth a fortune! But now, I am afraid you have somewhere else to be. Up, up and away!"

The earth surged beneath their feet, flinging them into the air. Instinctively, they braced themselves for impact with the invisible ceiling, but instead, they found themselves falling onto soft, grassy earth...

• XP from Encounters:
  • 4 brownies (peaceful)
  • 1 Treant (peaceful)
  • 4 dire wolves (140)
  • 5 Cloverfield (325)
  • 2 normal Arane (2140)
  • 1 magic-wielding Arane (1570)
  • 4 Spellwood (3280)
  • 1 4HD bat swarm (peacefully spoken with)
  • 1 Coyote (survived)
  • 3 gargoyles (405)
  • 4 stone giants (2800)
  • 2 Caecilian (570)
  • 2 stone golem (7800)
  • 1 Loki (as a huge, tricky Frost Giant) (1700)
• XP from treasure: N/A (oddly, usually the creatures carry or horde things)
• Total XP: 19030
• XP per PC: 2537
• XP per Henchbeing: 1269

Treasure, Really Big Orcs, and Chaos

Deug 6-28, 6638; next holiday, Wintermas, Dara 1

The Party:

• Rig Bigny, Gnomish Beastmaster
  • Flit, the bat familiar
  • Clench, the Wardog War-Badger
  • Midnight, the Panther
  • Noona, the Lion
  • Faufe Yitaw, Dogwere (Badgerwere?)
    • Rawf, Wardog familiar
    • Aroof, Wardog familiar
  • Llarm Paphyra, Elvish Polydoctorate
    • The Metal Man, construct
• Caranthir, Human Leader of Men
  • Rhea Trueheart, Elvish Nightblade
  • Lucille "Luce" Burwood, Fighter
  • Elenora Garrard, White Mage
  • Gimli Trollriver, Dwarven Fury
• Gróin of Norston, Dwarven Sapper
  • Laurita Gomez, Priestess
• Quetgar, Thrassian Assassin
  • Zarc, Thrassian Gladiator
• Sorvald, Thief
• Mor Gibs, the Wonderworker
• Gianna, a Gnomish Trickster

After managing to store all their treasure, the party moved on, flying to the Mejastan city of Cuidado Mercado. They identified some of their magic items (a Cloak of Protection +2, Eyes of the Eagle, Ring of Protection +1, Ring of Water Walking, Scarab of Protection (5), and an interesting Brooch of Number Confusion). Taking off alone, Caranthir and Gróin, with Princess Maedhe in tow, went from treasure to treasure, picking up money and magical items.

Finally, picking up Quetgar and Sorvald on the way, the trio (and their henchmen) ended at a large, ruined castle - the location marked Not Worth It on the Fae treasure map. The outer rings of the castle were, indeed, ruined, but inside was something else altogether. As they passed through a doorway, they felt a magical field pass over them. Oddly, a map of the place seemed to fill their heads. Cautiously, they picked their way forward. Caranthir sent Gimli into a pool of water, where he retrieved a strange box. Gróin, using one of many wands of Detect Magic, noted it didn't seem magical. However, when an invisible servant opened the box, it seemed to be filled with a delicious meat-and-gravy-filled loaf of Dwarven Bread! Gimli, his mouth watering, ate a large slice, and declared it the best bread he'd ever eaten. After waiting to see if anything went wrong, Caranthir also took a bite. The bread was indeed delicious - and filling, too!

Further inside, Sorvald padded ahead. Suddenly, he could no longer hear the party behind him! He turned and retreated, reappearing before them. The doorway seemed to be a teleport of some kind; the party progressed, trying to follow the map in their heads, and teleporting around. They found a room full of magical treasure, blocked by a magic field, though little else of worth. In a far room, they found a gibbering Chaos Beast, though were able to destroy it without injury. And upon doing so, they heard a rasping voice calling out a challenge. They shouted back, and the voice merely laughed at them. Further on, they found a series of locked rooms, holding various nasty creatures: a hellhound, a dire ogre, a dire troll, and a creature none of them recognized - a snake, with a woman's head. The creatures were dealt with, and the party moved on, though the voice continued to call challenges to them.

Finally, the party came face to face with the creature. It was a huge monster, towering over their heads, and wielding a massive sword. Over the throne it sat on was a statue of a creature with long arms and a loose, slavering mouth. The monster on the throne - an orc, though larger than any orc they had ever seen - introduced itself as Skadge the Terrible, the Mage-Killer, the Curse-Bringer, and demanded single combat with a member of the group. Sorvald tried to get out, but it seems the teleporters only go one way. He did find a room full of corpses, however. There was quite a bit of conversation, more than Skadge was used to; Laurita contacted her deity, and asked three questions: Can we get out? (Yes.) Without anyone dying? (No.) Can we kill the orc and not get cursed? (Yes.)

Still, the party wasn't terribly interested in a fair fight. First, they attempted to un-curse the orc with Dispel Magic. Skadge burst into flame and burned to nothing, leaving only a glowing orange ring; then, a moment later, he reappeared on the throne, grinning, the ring on his finger. Caranthir attempted to Cancel the ring... and things went sideways, into the Chaos Plane, where the castle was originally from, it seems.

Skadge, the immortal, fearless orc, began to freak out. He grabbed a bundle of items from near his throne, and headed for the room that had the Chaos Hulk in it, the party not far behind. They barricaded themselves in the room as the air began to turn stale and heavy. A feeling of dread seemed to wash over them... and then the skittering started. Scratching at the door, then pounding, and finally, a piercing scream in their minds, followed by a sicking, oily feeling, radiating into their minds. There was a pull on their very consciousness...

While most of the party resisted, Rhea and Elenora suddenly broke into smiles. "There's nothing to worry about!" Rhea cried, heading for the door. She began trying to pry it open, and Elenora jumped up to help. Caranthir, realizing this was likely Not A Good Thing immediately grabbed Elenora, and the Princess grabbed Rhea. The two struggled, but eventually, were knocked out. After some time, the oily feeling eventually pulled away, followed by the skittering claws. The air cleared, and Skadge roused himself. The party followed him back to his throne room. Finally, Caranthir decided that he would step forward to fight the huge creature. Skadge grinned, picking up a huge helmet and slamming it onto his oversized head. The face-cover creaked open, and he slammed his head onto the side of the throne, bending the face-cover back in place. A green energy field surrounded them. With a roar, Skadge charged forward; Caranthir, in dragon form, breathed his icy breath onto him. The two traded breath and blows; though he was magically enhanced, Caranthir was fading quickly. Skadge was well-armored, well-armed, and wearing quite a few magical items; for once, it was a fair fight. Down to the last blows, the two were evenly matched, but Caranthir finally managed to bring Skadge down. The green energy field sparked and arced to the ground, and Caranthir, as Skadge's body burst into white-hot flame. Moments later, Skadge reappeared, laughing. "It's been 200 years sine anyone defeated me! Well fought, dragon-man!"

Quetgar, meanwhile, was camped outside the castle. He was minding his own business, watching the flying carpets and such, when suddenly... the castle vanished. One moment, it was there, towering against the backdrop of the ocean, and the next, it was gone! He waited all night, and in the morning, it finally reappeared with a wet "thup" sound. Curious, he wandered in, through the teleport maze, nodding appreciatively at the corpses of the fallen monsters, and eventually ending up in the throne room, just as Caranthir was finishing off Skadge.

The party was treated to a magical buffet, full of delicacies from home. After their repast, Quetgar asked if he could face Skadge, who accepted immediately. Again, the fight was close, though ultimately, Quetgar was the winner. Skadge, pleased at having found two able to best him, handed the party a bulging sack of gold - 20,000 gold, in fact, with some loose gems in the bottom. He implored them to find him a worthy foe, something that he could battle forever, and offered them incredible treasures if they could do so.

Bidding the orc farewell, they returned to Cuidado Mercado and sold their last treasures.

• Magical treasure:
  • Cube of Illusion
  • Amulet versus Crystal Balls and ESP
  • Box of Create Food (10 meals, once a day)
• Treasure:
  • 79,000 gp
  • 20,000 gp
  • 28 rare books, worth 150gp each (1 stone per 2 books)
  • 10 crates of armor and weapons, worth 225gp each (10 stone each)
  • 1 emerald regalia (6,000 gp)
  • 1 Flawless facet cut diamond (8,000 gp)
• Encounters
  • chaos hulk (3650)
  • dire ogre (790)
  • dire troll (1300)
  • hellhound, greater (790)
  • Child of nasga (3100)
  • Skadge (2700)
• Treasure sold: 175,200 gp
• Because this XP is combining a lot, here is each individually:
  • Rig: 16686
  • Midnight and Noona: 8343
  • Caranthir: 45609
  • Rhea, Elenora, and Laurita: 21454
  • Gimli: 12677
  • Gróin: 42909
  • Quetgar: 42333
  • Zarc: 8343
  • Sorvald: 25353
  • Mor Gibs and Gianna: 16686

And, because it's the new year, and some of these quests may be getting long in the tooth: a list!

• The dragon-people of the desert: destroy the scales
• The Seekers: protect knowledge and... well, actually they haven't said a lot. Huh.
• Gutsack's "friend" the Efreeti: find the fire plane
• Artemis' other things
• Elrik's other things
• A disturbance in the mountains of the north
• Skadge: find a fearsome opponent he can battle forever, without having to leave his castle