The Pointless Tower: Not Very Towerlike

Dara 13; next holiday, Darkest Day, Dara 35.

The Party:

• Rig Bigny, Gnomish Beastmaster
  • Flit, the bat familiar
  • Clench, the Wardog War-Badger
  • Midnight, the Panther
  • Noona, the Lion
  • Faufe Yitaw, Dogwere (Badgerwere?)
    • Rawf, Wardog familiar
    • Aroof, Wardog familiar
  • Llarm Paphyra, Elvish Polydoctorate
    • The Metal Man, construct
• Caranthir, Human Leader of Men
  • Rhea Trueheart, Elvish Nightblade
  • Lucille "Luce" Burwood, Fighter
  • Elenora Garrard, White Mage
  • Gimli Trollriver, Dwarven Fury
• Gróin of Norston, Dwarven Sapper
  • Laurita Gomez, Priestess
• Quetgar, Thrassian Assassin
  • Zarc, Thrassian Gladiator
• Sorvald, Thief
• Mor Gibs, the Wonderworker

The party was lead by the Winter Princess to the secret opening of the Pointless Tower...

Legend has it that a man wanted to open what was then the Wild Tower; knowing great riches existed within, he figured it was a safe bet to make a deal with the Fae (or, possibly, the Gnomes). With their assistance, he indeed gained access to the tower. However, something went wrong; the Gnomes (or was it the Fae?) betrayed him, and locked him inside the tower, enchanting it so no one could rescue him. It is his laughter and screams you can hear, carried on the breeze, at the top of the tower.

As the Princess opened the magically hidden door, the party stepped into the hallway. In a moment, they were staring into a strange forest; they could see the forest stretching out in front of them, and could easily make out the trails and meadows within. Behind them, however, the door they walked through was nothing but a stone wall...

Sheltered under a stand of trees was a plaque, moss growing in the letters; or... perhaps making up the letters? The sign seemed to be discernable in any language, and read: "Before you lies tainted ground, tread by the Spirit, the Dark Soul, the Betrayer. Enter at your peril, for there is no return until the prophecy has been read."

The party started down the left path, heading into an area filled with dead ends. Investigating each dead end resulted in finding some mundane armor, cleaned and repaired; a Treant named Brushbeard, who seemed very confused; and Cla and his three friends (family, actually), all kindly brownies. Neither Brushbeard nor Cla were able to shed much light on the forest, though they both mentioned that it was not what it appeared.

Around a corner - warned by the brownies - they found a patch of stinging nettles. Rig attempted to investigate, and caught a slightly painful blast of nettles to the face! One potion of Command Plant later, and the path was cleared. Not long afterward, four dire wolves felt the sting of the party's blades (and claws, and teeth...). The party emerged into a glade, where four pools of water, surrounded by moss and clover, bubbled gently. Gróin, suspicious, walked up to poke the pond, and was rewarded with an explosion of movement - the clover reached up, bundles of tendrils tearing and pulling at him! He jumped back, and the others joined him in beating the strange pond-monsters back to dust. When the last one curled up dead, the brush to the right unfolded, revealing a wide plain. More brush moved, and the third meadow was revealed - and battle was once again joined! Three Arane began by trying to capture the party, as Spellwoods began creating grassy monsters!

By sheer luck, the third, more powerful Arane was interrupted in her spellcasting. As the spiders were dealt with, so were the feral trees, and soon the area was again quiet. The party explored the third branch, and eventually returned to follow the newest opening, to the south. After walking in relative peace, they came upon a great pond. Caranthir, in dragon form, began flying across it, but realized his reflection was laughing at him! The reflection grew and grew, until his eye filled the entire pond, which then bubbled up into an enormous mound... and began to shrink, and shrink, until it was small, and round, and plopped into the face of a strange creature rolling on the ground laughing.

Coyote, property of Gunnerkrigg Court by Tom Siddell

The creature, its tongue lolling out of its mouth as it laughed uproariously, crowed, "Oh ho! Hoo hoo! Ahhhahaha! Fooled! Oh dear! Oh my! Such foolish mortals!"

Finally, he finished laughing, and challenged one of the party to a fight. "Oh! Oh yes! A battle! Hooray! It's been so long since anyone fought me! Let me see... I shall be a tree! With rocks for teeth! And the rivers of the world will be my blood!"

Caranthir, sighing, prepared to face the strange animal... until he suddenly found himself staring up, a small, fluffy, dragon-tailed kitten! The being once again collapsed into a writhing puddle of giggles and guffaws, much to Caranthir's irritation. The animal laughed so hard, his mouth opening so wide, he suddenly flipped inside out! Luckily, the inside seemed to be about the same as the outside. He spit out his eyes, replaced them in his face, and winked. "Storytime! About me, of course."

He began his tale: "One lovely century, I was strolling through my woods - they're all mine, you know - and I saw a nasty spirit thing. He was happy to see me - everyone is happy to see me, of course - and asked if I wanted to become overwhelmingly wealthy and powerful. How I laughed! I already own all the gold in the world. I keep it in other people's pockets! And the trees are my bones, and the stones my teeth! What other power is there? Well, he was very upset with me. He hissed and shouted, but I just winked at him, because I was the moon."

Thoughtfully, he added, "I'm always the moon, of course."

"But he wanted to stay in my woods, and he was eating all my children, so I barked at him. He grew angry, so I picked him up and put him on a mountain, but then he was too big, so I had to travel there myself and make sure he was the right size. Oh! But let me tell you about the time I was a dead goose! No? Some other time, then! Oh, but before you go, I have a gift for you!"

He tossed a small flask onto the ground. The liquid within is black, red, blue, and white, much as the Coyote (for, indeed, that is who he was - the trickster god of the forests!) is; shaking the fluid causes the colors to swirl, but never mix. It's vaguely unsettling, and the party had the strangest feeling they were being taken advantage of, but abandoning their gift seemed... imprudent. Coyote bowed, motioning to the twisting staircase.

As the party climbed, the sky turned to walls, then to stone, and finally, to the top of a mountain! They could see a few nearby peaks, and a twisting set of stairs leading peak to peak. They could see a few problems, not the least of which was a crowd of four stone giants, nudging each other and hefting huge stones. Caranthir tested to see if he could fly over the chasms - no such luck. A powerful downdraft threatened to suck him into the void below. The party was forced to cross carefully, avoiding the thrown rocks. Of course, it's always nice to have a sapper along; each broken path and rickety plank was replaced with a sturdy wooden tunnel-bridge, much to the annoyance of the giants. After quickly tearing through a series of gargoyles, the party reached a safe spot. Only one giant managed to hit anyone before Caranthir reached them; his armored hide blocked many of their blows, but a few got through. Finally, the giants were dead.

Past the giants, the party were surprised by two huge, grey-skinned worms, which they defeated handily. The two stone giants they faced met a similar fate, though they were much harder to hit, with their powerful stone skin.

Winding around the mountain, the party finally crested the top, to find a man seated on a golden throne. The man tossed the chalice of wine he was drinking over the edge, and greeted them with open arms. "Friends! I thought you'd never make it! After my dear friend, that old deceiver Coyote, told me you were on your way, I was simply delighted! Why, I've even prepared a welcome gift for you!"

And with that, he suddenly turned into a very large giant. A frost giant, of course. The party attacked quickly, and though Loki cheated once or twice, they eventually brought him down. When defeated, Loki changed back into the form of a man, laughing. "Such fun! Oh, your faces! If only you could see them - you look like this!"

His face changes into a row of faces, perfect duplicates of each of the party's, except each face has crossed eyes, its tongue stuck out, or some other goofy expression of fear. "Ah, but perhaps you'd like to hear my part of the tale! As I'm sure Coyote told you, a dark creature attempted to live in his woods, and he most graciously carried the hideous thing here. The creature offered me a deal - power, wealth, anything I'd like, in return for my assistance, and the ability to live in these lands. I, of course, refused; I needed my followers, and he seemed intent on eating them. We fought, and thankful was I that he had little time to rest since Coyote brought him; the battle was difficult, even for one such as myself. I'll tell you, by the time we were through, I was quite Thor!"

"I booted the foul thing from my mountains, into... into... into the lands of the elves!" Loki guffaws, unable to continue. "Oh! Their faces! Such a terror! Oh, me!" With a wink, he tosses a small vial to you. It contains a glistening liquid. Loki bows, and announces, "My tears! I have only cried thrice, so those tears are certainly worth a fortune! But now, I am afraid you have somewhere else to be. Up, up and away!"

The earth surged beneath their feet, flinging them into the air. Instinctively, they braced themselves for impact with the invisible ceiling, but instead, they found themselves falling onto soft, grassy earth...

• XP from Encounters:
  • 4 brownies (peaceful)
  • 1 Treant (peaceful)
  • 4 dire wolves (140)
  • 5 Cloverfield (325)
  • 2 normal Arane (2140)
  • 1 magic-wielding Arane (1570)
  • 4 Spellwood (3280)
  • 1 4HD bat swarm (peacefully spoken with)
  • 1 Coyote (survived)
  • 3 gargoyles (405)
  • 4 stone giants (2800)
  • 2 Caecilian (570)
  • 2 stone golem (7800)
  • 1 Loki (as a huge, tricky Frost Giant) (1700)
• XP from treasure: N/A (oddly, usually the creatures carry or horde things)
• Total XP: 19030
• XP per PC: 2537
• XP per Henchbeing: 1269

Don't Help Women In Trouble?

Dara 1 - 13; next holiday, Darkest Day, Dara 35.

The Party:

• Rig Bigny, Gnomish Beastmaster
  • Flit, the bat familiar
  • Clench, the Wardog War-Badger
  • Midnight, the Panther
  • Noona, the Lion
  • Faufe Yitaw, Dogwere (Badgerwere?)
    • Rawf, Wardog familiar
    • Aroof, Wardog familiar
  • Llarm Paphyra, Elvish Polydoctorate
    • The Metal Man, construct
• Caranthir, Human Leader of Men
  • Rhea Trueheart, Elvish Nightblade
  • Lucille "Luce" Burwood, Fighter
  • Elenora Garrard, White Mage
  • Gimli Trollriver, Dwarven Fury
• Gróin of Norston, Dwarven Sapper
  • Laurita Gomez, Priestess
• Quetgar, Thrassian Assassin
  • Zarc, Thrassian Gladiator
• Sorvald, Thief
• Mor Gibs, the Wonderworker
• Gianna, a Gnomish Trickster

The party resumed their journey (skipping town on Wintermas - but happy birthday, Zarc!) to find treasure, portals, and plotlines. In the desert, they came across an upturned wagon; Gimli and Rhea approached to lend aid, but found themselves under the control of another Child of Nasga! Charmed, they began refusing orders, and freed the creature. Caranthir quickly attacked, and the group finished off the lone threat... then chased down the two hench-people, as they had been sent running into the desert. Thankfully, no one got lost!

After meeting up with Gutsack and his Efreeti "friend", the party split, with Sorvald and Gróin and the henchmen heading south to some treasure, and Caranthir and Rig heading north, to find the portal to the Fire Plane. On their way, the two avoided a group of mummies and some horses; they found a recently-active volcano, and climbed inside. After navigating for miles underground, they came across a huge red dragon, sleeping on a pile of treasure. Being just two, they opted to turn back. However, they then ran into a group of morlocks; Caranthir, in dragon form, froze all but two in a single blast. The living morlocks began weeping and pleading for their lives. They weren't sure of where the fire portal was, but knew that dread creatures sometimes came from behind the red dragon's chambers. Rig and Caranthir turned back, and crept past the dragon, who only snored louder.

Following the tunnel, they found a narrow crevice, and inside a pair of obviously magical gloves. Finally, they reached the fire portal, and verified it was, indeed, the plane of fire. Retracing their steps, they once again slipped past the dragon, and exited into the cool night air. During the night, a group of four stone giants passed by their camp, but never noticed them.

The next morning, they began their trek back. On their way, they saw two statues below them... statues that suddenly lifted on great wings and caught up to them - it was a pair of Sphinx! Sphinxes? Sphincter... no. Let's go with Sphinx. After some banter, the first sphinx asked a simple riddle:

What comes in pairs,
And rarely flies
Is eaten by men
And brings life when it dies?

The answer, of course, was seeds - pear seeds. The second Sphinx asked another simple riddle:

Nodding, Waving, Head in the Sun
Daytime done, head is hung
Who am I?

Which Rig immediately guessed, correctly, was a flower - a sunflower, of course. As a reward, the pair were gifted a ruby, and a bit of information about the surroundings. Over the next few days, they encountered a few vultures, but not much else.

The second party of adventurers, on their way to find some treasure, ran into a woman, fighting a scorpion! After a moment of indecision, they landed to help... only to find the creature was, in reality, a Lamia, and had tricked them with illusions! They drove her off, however, and returned to their quest. In the desert, after much searching, they found a buried room, containing the corpse of a somewhat famous mage, some gold and jewels, and a +1 sword. They returned to the fire temple without further incident. While waiting for the others to catch up to them, they spent their time hunting down the tribe of gingerbread orcs that Gutsac had baked.

Finally, the party reunited, and the Efreeti granted two wishes. Caranthir wished to be a full dragon, with the power to polymorph; he is now a full level 9 dragon, with the polymorph ability, his original stats, and advances in saves, proficiencies, attack throws, and damage bonus as a Fighter. When transforming into a human, he is a normal human fighter.

Rig, meanwhile, wished for a way to move his pets with him more easily, and was granted a Ball of Pet Summoning. The well-chewed leather ball seems to have a strap wrapped around it; once per week, a strap can be removed and put on a tame creature. Any creature with a collar can be summoned for 1 hour (6 turns) within 1d4 rounds, and be dismissed at will to return to its original location. Removing a collar from a creature will cause that collar to be re-absorbed by the ball.

The magical gloves were, of course, the Fire Gauntlets of Elrik the Wanderer. Gróin tried them on, and was immediately rewarded with a vision of Elrick, fleeing a tide of rising magma inside the volcano; coming upon a crevice, Elrick leaped over it, pushing himself over a red-hot boulder with his leather gauntlets. For a moment, the gloves glowed blue...

The Flame Gauntlets provide immunity to heat and fire-based magic; additionally, they can be activated once a day to wreath the wearer in flames for 1d6 rounds, doing 1d4 damage to enemies within melee range.

Bidding farewell to Gutsack and the Efreeti, the party decided to head to the Pointless Tower, as the Princess decided to inform them she knew the way inside. On the way, the party was nearly drowned by a pair of thieves... and, the party gained a Ring of Invisibility, Sword +1, two vials of Holy Water, a silver dagger, Leather armor +3, yet another Decanter of Endless Water, a Ring of Fire Resistance, and a Ward against Elementals.

They made their way past a large Orc encampment, and finally found the tower. Sorvald was nearly roped into being a test dummy, but they managed to extricate themselves, and the princess lead the way to the real opening of the Pointless Tower...

As the party split up, I'll make two lists for XP.

• Caranthir and Rig
  • Encounters
    • Child of Nasga (3100)
    • 9 mummies (avoided)
    • 50 horses (skipped)
    • 30 morlocks (killed and/or captured, 300)
    • 4 stone giants (ignored)
    • 2 rocs (ignored)
    • 2 sphinx (answered their riddles, 6000)
    • 3 vultures (ignored)
    • Pterodactyl (avoided)
    • Martín Robles (lvl 8; 1600)
    • Johan Månsson (lvl 8; 1600)
    • 429 orcs (avoided)
  • Treasure
    • 5,000 gp ruby with setting
  • XP for Rig and Caranthir, each: 5142 (plus 2500 each once the ruby sells)
• Everyone Else
  • Encounters
    • Lamia (2500)
    • Martín Robles (lvl 8; 1600)
    • Johan Månsson (lvl 8; 1600)
    • 429 orcs (avoided)
  • Treasure
    • 1,000 Gold
    • 1 flawless diamond (4,000 gp)
    • 1 Glass jewelry (130 gp)
    • 1 ivory jewelry (300 gp)
    • 2 wrought gold jewelry (800 gp)
  • XP for Sorvald and Gróin: 1659 (plus 1743 each once the treasure sells)
  • XP for Laurita and Zarc: 830 (plus 871 each once the treasure sells)
• XP for Rhea, Elenora, and Gimli: 246

GM Note: I paused the session so I could make up the maps for the Pointless Tower in advance. I ended up shortcutting a different adventure by combining the two, and in the process, thoroughly creeped myself out. This should be a fun adventure! :-D

Treasure, Really Big Orcs, and Chaos

Deug 6-28, 6638; next holiday, Wintermas, Dara 1

The Party:

• Rig Bigny, Gnomish Beastmaster
  • Flit, the bat familiar
  • Clench, the Wardog War-Badger
  • Midnight, the Panther
  • Noona, the Lion
  • Faufe Yitaw, Dogwere (Badgerwere?)
    • Rawf, Wardog familiar
    • Aroof, Wardog familiar
  • Llarm Paphyra, Elvish Polydoctorate
    • The Metal Man, construct
• Caranthir, Human Leader of Men
  • Rhea Trueheart, Elvish Nightblade
  • Lucille "Luce" Burwood, Fighter
  • Elenora Garrard, White Mage
  • Gimli Trollriver, Dwarven Fury
• Gróin of Norston, Dwarven Sapper
  • Laurita Gomez, Priestess
• Quetgar, Thrassian Assassin
  • Zarc, Thrassian Gladiator
• Sorvald, Thief
• Mor Gibs, the Wonderworker
• Gianna, a Gnomish Trickster

After managing to store all their treasure, the party moved on, flying to the Mejastan city of Cuidado Mercado. They identified some of their magic items (a Cloak of Protection +2, Eyes of the Eagle, Ring of Protection +1, Ring of Water Walking, Scarab of Protection (5), and an interesting Brooch of Number Confusion). Taking off alone, Caranthir and Gróin, with Princess Maedhe in tow, went from treasure to treasure, picking up money and magical items.

Finally, picking up Quetgar and Sorvald on the way, the trio (and their henchmen) ended at a large, ruined castle - the location marked Not Worth It on the Fae treasure map. The outer rings of the castle were, indeed, ruined, but inside was something else altogether. As they passed through a doorway, they felt a magical field pass over them. Oddly, a map of the place seemed to fill their heads. Cautiously, they picked their way forward. Caranthir sent Gimli into a pool of water, where he retrieved a strange box. Gróin, using one of many wands of Detect Magic, noted it didn't seem magical. However, when an invisible servant opened the box, it seemed to be filled with a delicious meat-and-gravy-filled loaf of Dwarven Bread! Gimli, his mouth watering, ate a large slice, and declared it the best bread he'd ever eaten. After waiting to see if anything went wrong, Caranthir also took a bite. The bread was indeed delicious - and filling, too!

Further inside, Sorvald padded ahead. Suddenly, he could no longer hear the party behind him! He turned and retreated, reappearing before them. The doorway seemed to be a teleport of some kind; the party progressed, trying to follow the map in their heads, and teleporting around. They found a room full of magical treasure, blocked by a magic field, though little else of worth. In a far room, they found a gibbering Chaos Beast, though were able to destroy it without injury. And upon doing so, they heard a rasping voice calling out a challenge. They shouted back, and the voice merely laughed at them. Further on, they found a series of locked rooms, holding various nasty creatures: a hellhound, a dire ogre, a dire troll, and a creature none of them recognized - a snake, with a woman's head. The creatures were dealt with, and the party moved on, though the voice continued to call challenges to them.

Finally, the party came face to face with the creature. It was a huge monster, towering over their heads, and wielding a massive sword. Over the throne it sat on was a statue of a creature with long arms and a loose, slavering mouth. The monster on the throne - an orc, though larger than any orc they had ever seen - introduced itself as Skadge the Terrible, the Mage-Killer, the Curse-Bringer, and demanded single combat with a member of the group. Sorvald tried to get out, but it seems the teleporters only go one way. He did find a room full of corpses, however. There was quite a bit of conversation, more than Skadge was used to; Laurita contacted her deity, and asked three questions: Can we get out? (Yes.) Without anyone dying? (No.) Can we kill the orc and not get cursed? (Yes.)

Still, the party wasn't terribly interested in a fair fight. First, they attempted to un-curse the orc with Dispel Magic. Skadge burst into flame and burned to nothing, leaving only a glowing orange ring; then, a moment later, he reappeared on the throne, grinning, the ring on his finger. Caranthir attempted to Cancel the ring... and things went sideways, into the Chaos Plane, where the castle was originally from, it seems.

Skadge, the immortal, fearless orc, began to freak out. He grabbed a bundle of items from near his throne, and headed for the room that had the Chaos Hulk in it, the party not far behind. They barricaded themselves in the room as the air began to turn stale and heavy. A feeling of dread seemed to wash over them... and then the skittering started. Scratching at the door, then pounding, and finally, a piercing scream in their minds, followed by a sicking, oily feeling, radiating into their minds. There was a pull on their very consciousness...

While most of the party resisted, Rhea and Elenora suddenly broke into smiles. "There's nothing to worry about!" Rhea cried, heading for the door. She began trying to pry it open, and Elenora jumped up to help. Caranthir, realizing this was likely Not A Good Thing immediately grabbed Elenora, and the Princess grabbed Rhea. The two struggled, but eventually, were knocked out. After some time, the oily feeling eventually pulled away, followed by the skittering claws. The air cleared, and Skadge roused himself. The party followed him back to his throne room. Finally, Caranthir decided that he would step forward to fight the huge creature. Skadge grinned, picking up a huge helmet and slamming it onto his oversized head. The face-cover creaked open, and he slammed his head onto the side of the throne, bending the face-cover back in place. A green energy field surrounded them. With a roar, Skadge charged forward; Caranthir, in dragon form, breathed his icy breath onto him. The two traded breath and blows; though he was magically enhanced, Caranthir was fading quickly. Skadge was well-armored, well-armed, and wearing quite a few magical items; for once, it was a fair fight. Down to the last blows, the two were evenly matched, but Caranthir finally managed to bring Skadge down. The green energy field sparked and arced to the ground, and Caranthir, as Skadge's body burst into white-hot flame. Moments later, Skadge reappeared, laughing. "It's been 200 years sine anyone defeated me! Well fought, dragon-man!"

Quetgar, meanwhile, was camped outside the castle. He was minding his own business, watching the flying carpets and such, when suddenly... the castle vanished. One moment, it was there, towering against the backdrop of the ocean, and the next, it was gone! He waited all night, and in the morning, it finally reappeared with a wet "thup" sound. Curious, he wandered in, through the teleport maze, nodding appreciatively at the corpses of the fallen monsters, and eventually ending up in the throne room, just as Caranthir was finishing off Skadge.

The party was treated to a magical buffet, full of delicacies from home. After their repast, Quetgar asked if he could face Skadge, who accepted immediately. Again, the fight was close, though ultimately, Quetgar was the winner. Skadge, pleased at having found two able to best him, handed the party a bulging sack of gold - 20,000 gold, in fact, with some loose gems in the bottom. He implored them to find him a worthy foe, something that he could battle forever, and offered them incredible treasures if they could do so.

Bidding the orc farewell, they returned to Cuidado Mercado and sold their last treasures.

• Magical treasure:
  • Cube of Illusion
  • Amulet versus Crystal Balls and ESP
  • Box of Create Food (10 meals, once a day)
• Treasure:
  • 79,000 gp
  • 20,000 gp
  • 28 rare books, worth 150gp each (1 stone per 2 books)
  • 10 crates of armor and weapons, worth 225gp each (10 stone each)
  • 1 emerald regalia (6,000 gp)
  • 1 Flawless facet cut diamond (8,000 gp)
• Encounters
  • chaos hulk (3650)
  • dire ogre (790)
  • dire troll (1300)
  • hellhound, greater (790)
  • Child of nasga (3100)
  • Skadge (2700)
• Treasure sold: 175,200 gp
• Because this XP is combining a lot, here is each individually:
  • Rig: 16686
  • Midnight and Noona: 8343
  • Caranthir: 45609
  • Rhea, Elenora, and Laurita: 21454
  • Gimli: 12677
  • Gróin: 42909
  • Quetgar: 42333
  • Zarc: 8343
  • Sorvald: 25353
  • Mor Gibs and Gianna: 16686

And, because it's the new year, and some of these quests may be getting long in the tooth: a list!

• The dragon-people of the desert: destroy the scales
• The Seekers: protect knowledge and... well, actually they haven't said a lot. Huh.
• Gutsack's "friend" the Efreeti: find the fire plane
• Artemis' other things
• Elrik's other things
• A disturbance in the mountains of the north
• Skadge: find a fearsome opponent he can battle forever, without having to leave his castle